Because I was lunching alone, I sat and watched. Yes people. I am that creepy dude in the corner who watches you all.
It wasn’t particulary busy there so I sat and watched and listened. Some people had noticed me in my little corner watching as they themselves are closet “watchers”. Others were looking a bit paranoid as they knew they were being watched.
According to the dictionary, if you search “paranoia”, you get:
1 – A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution with or without grandeur, often strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.
2 – Extreme, irrational distrust of others.
3 – They really are watching you. Place a tinfoil hat on your head and sit in a lead box and don’t think about anything but fairies and how much the government works for you.
4 – Stop reading this and do No. 3. There is no time to lose.
I am assuming they tell you to think of fairies because the government are a bunch of them, and they are listening to your thoughts.
Apart from the usual “I hate my boss because my life is so unfair.” conversations and the “It’s Friday night. I am going to dress like coco the clown and see if I can pull” conversations, there was a phone call that caught my ear.
Although it is classed as rude to listen to someones conversations, if you are going to talk obnoxiously loudly and try to sound important, people are going to belittle you. On this occassion, the guy was speaking in a foreign language.
I have no idea what language he was speaking, but I have decided that he was talking about a crisis in smurf land (or something bad happening to Les Schtroumpfs). Half way through the conversation, the guy says “Hugga Boingie hugga Boingie”. What the hell does “Hugga Boingie” mean? And why say it twice in a row? What is going on in Smurfland that needs a phrase like that?
Papa Smurf was unavailable for comment when I emailed him, but I left a message saying help is on it’s way.
It’s a call to arms my friends. The smurfs need your SmurfHelp. Don’t Smurf them down.
You go first, I will cover your backs. My tummy doesn’t feel too good after that sandwich.
on 
13 responses so far ↓
1 Mikiye Creations // Feb 12, 2008 at 7:15 pm
LMAO!!!
…you have me hooked.
I’ll be reading your blog from now on!
LOL!!
2 Don Lewis // Feb 12, 2008 at 10:11 pm
So you’re that creepy guy in the corner!
Ummm. Your fly is open…
3 Some random stranger // Feb 12, 2008 at 10:32 pm
It is OK Don, it is cold in here.
Nothing to see here. Move along. Come back when it is warmer when I can get done for indecent exposure!
4 Tamera // Feb 13, 2008 at 1:03 am
I think that my have been Swedish you heard. Sounded like the Swedish Cook on The Muppets. See, my imagination is just too good, because I cracked up at the thought (picture in my head) of you sitting in the corner. Yeah, Homer is a really scary dude. I mean…just look at those eyes! They may have you arrested!
5 Some random stranger // Feb 13, 2008 at 1:19 am
Homer is my own personal hero! You can’t knock those eyes! Although I could chage my avatar to one of the chickens that Swedish Chef hangs about with!
I was happy in my little corner. A nice comfy seat just looking out on the people squirreling away having their lunches!
6 Jane Turley // Feb 13, 2008 at 5:56 am
It meant “There’s a really strange guy over there watching me with two pencils up his nose but if I repeat myself he’ll have no idea what I’m saying.”
Hey it’s 4.55am, I’m a tired Mad Housewife and it’s time to retreat to bed….
7 Some random stranger // Feb 13, 2008 at 5:58 am
I failed to metion I also had underwear on my head and the fact I said “Flibble” a lot!
8 Rose // Feb 13, 2008 at 7:05 am
By chance you did not see Three hundred and ninety five smurfs running around did you?
9 Some random stranger // Feb 13, 2008 at 7:13 am
Nope…not a single Croation in site fortunately! If I ever saw that many smurfs, I would realise someone had spiked my alcohol free beer with alcohol! And probably carry on drinking it safe in the knowledge it is now exactly how it should be.
10 garethjones // Feb 13, 2008 at 9:00 am
Can’t see it myself. Sy drinking alcohol free beer!
11 Some random stranger // Feb 13, 2008 at 4:52 pm
You got it spot on there Gareth! Alcohol beer is wrong on so many levels! Like caffiene free cola. WHY!?!?!?! I dont drink it for the taste!!
If you take the important parts out of drinks, what is left???
12 Kelly // Feb 14, 2008 at 7:21 am
Good God, those word verification letters were jumbled so close together my head almost exploded. Is it 2 “V’s” or a “W”. I can’t tell. Plus I have this constant buzzing in my ears. You’re not the only one hearing things. But I’m going crazy with my wife’s constant snoring.
Somebody rescue me from the angry bees!
13 Some random stranger // Feb 14, 2008 at 11:57 am
Yup, the snoring is well known in my house. It ends in pushing, kicking, shoving, no sleeping and general “OH SHUT UP!” voices. My poor wife. How does she put up with me.
Oh lookie here. No need for verification as it is my site!
Leave a Comment