I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. No really, I don’t care. I am talking about the Oscars. I didn’t even know they were last night. But now I am forced to endure watching it on Sky News with the sound down and a machine making up the words as it goes along in the name of real time subtitles. The word Found becomes Ford. Some guy has a belt and is at work. Huh? See I cannot decipher that one at all and am supposed to find out about interesting and informative news articles.
But really. Award ceremonies are as fake as Disney. And they always make us Brits look stupid. Yeah we win stuff because frankly, we rule. This is not open to discussion or alteration because it is true. But why is it that whenever you see a Hollywood “Star” from the States get an award, they are there with a great tan and trying to hide the fact they knew they would win with a fake smile and a “Oh, I didn’t do a speech, but hey, let me reel off these 200 words without stuttering or making it look like I am making it up”. Whereas us Brits get up there and look stupid.
Some woman I have never heard of in a film I will never watch won an Oscar. I know she is a Brit as the subtitle machine told me that the goose flies at dawn. But the clip shows her getting up and then she vanished. I would say that her skin had the shine of brilliant white but damn…if she got any more pale she would be transparent! Get some fake tan or something! You look like a goddamn Eskimo.
But if you want real news, then look no further then the story of a man who died after eating too many fairy cakes. No really. He did. No I know, you just can’t make this stuff up. He was of course in a fairy cake eating competition. But then, why wouldn’t you be? See, it is sad that he has died, but lets be honest. If you are gonna go, at least go in a manly way. “Yeah, he died fighting a pack of lions. He took 3 out before they got him” sounds way better then “He was eating fairy cakes and now he is dead. He took 3 out before he finally went…”
The world is a scary place people. That is why I have my little mental cocoon I live in which is padded so as not to hurt myself.
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12 responses so far ↓
1 Rose
// Feb 26, 2008 at 1:27 am
A Toronto woman has been charged with second-degree murder in the death of her 40-day-old infant. In the UK a man killed his four-year-old son and stabbed his teenage daughter as an act of revenge on his wife who started an affair, yet blogs are filled with gossip about the Grammies. I’m with you who cares. Michael Jackson was reportedly axed from the Grammy Awards after making a series of “diva-like” demands. That’s news we care about. Not!
2 Sy
// Feb 26, 2008 at 7:51 am
There you have it! I understand the need for mindless escapism, but these idiots get enough press as it is to the point where I would rather see the news about a pig with 5 legs or something. That is way more entertaining news then damn awards ceremonies for people getting awarded for doing their job right.
3 Tamera
// Feb 26, 2008 at 4:04 pm
*turning off my GPS*….brought the tequila, so where’s the chips and salsa! Congrats with your new domain. Yay!
4 Sy
// Feb 26, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Oooohh…that GPS is GOOOOOD! Welcome! You bring any nibbles or is it a tequila shot party? Coz either way, it is fine with me! And a 2 Litre bottle. That is mighty impressive!! Let the party begin!
5 Tamera
// Feb 26, 2008 at 4:42 pm
tequila and nacho party. What more does one need. Nothing!
6 Sy
// Feb 26, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Is there anything else to life at that point! OK, lets get everyone together. Let get this party started! Not many better ways to celebrate the start of the new site!!
7 Tamera
// Feb 26, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Well, you better go ’round them up!
8 Tamera
// Feb 26, 2008 at 7:03 pm
You need a new thread. The party has begun!
9 don
// Feb 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm
OK, I went to all the effort to erase your old RSS from my feed reader and put the new one up. It was a hell of a lot of work, took me over 15 seconds.
So do something. Make me laugh. Come on, I haven’t got all day.
New page looks nice by the way.
10 Sy
// Feb 26, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Yeah sorry about that. No warning…just BAM. New site! Still a LOT of work to do. Designing the header banner still, so that one will go real soon I hope.
As for making you laugh, I am doing a dance. I am a white man. As Genesis sang “I can’t dance”. If you could see it, you would laugh. Or walk away in shame knowing you had to see it. Or maybe join in. It aint the lambada so we wont be getting too close there fella!
11 Digital Frenzy
// Mar 1, 2008 at 1:12 am
There is still talk about the oscars as if it just happend yesterday.
12 Sy
// Mar 1, 2008 at 1:24 am
Really? Ah man, that is harsh. I have not turned the TV on since 3am on Sunday morning so have managed to escape the constant barrage. If it was not for The Simpsons and Futurame, I would probably bin the TV.
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