A British man (yeah, us Brits rule!) has the record for having more Lego than anyone else in the world. (I bet the makers of Lego would have something to say about that, as I am pretty sure they have more, but who am I to question.) He has over two million bricks, and no life. He is also 32. I am 33 and when I compared the differences between me and him, I was happy to find out that I am pretty much the greatest person I ever met. He came a very distant third and quite a distance behind “the rest of the world”.
His wife, a person who enjoys feeling parts of and sticking her hand inside animals (or a vet if you please) doesn’t like his collection. Although I am willing to bet that he never complains when she brings her work home with her. Of course, bringing her work home would involve having puppies in the house, so I guess this entire paragraph is a waste of time.
What bothers me is that he spends all day on Internet forums talking to other Lego fans. So this got me thinking:
Just what the hell are they talking about?
So I did some research. I went to one of these “forums of geekness” and had a look.
Boy was I not even mildly surprised. The forum I found was at www.LegoUsersBrickIt.com/NoLife/ForumsOfNerd and below is part of a thread I found: ***
User “LegoLoverLovesLego” said in a thread called “I’ve got big bricks and I can not lie, no other bricks get made from the same die” (which personally I think he ripped from the popular albeit crap song I like big butts) started with:
“I have a yellow brick with 6 dots on top and hollow on the bottom. I can then get the same size brick again and attach it! What do you have?”
This was replied to by “TheLegoLogoLooksLovely” who said:
“Wow! Ah man, you are so supremely awesome! Have you got it in blue too? My bricks only have the 4 dots on them and are smaller. You are the man!”.
Then “IHaveNoLife” replied:
“I have a Lego airport and I made a runway and everything, but my Lego plane wont fly. Why do you think that is?”
i stopped reading at this point because frankly…I was scared. Who are these people? Do they have a special club, or go to a club for special people? Do they spend their spare time scouring the shops for bricks they don’t have and then when they find some, they use their mobile phone to connect to the forum and put a post up while filling the incontinence pants they are wearing to contain their excitement? And if you turn on the accessibility tools and have it read out the posts for you, will the voice have a distinctly nerdy nasal tone to it? If not, I think Microsoft need to develop this function.
So there you have it. On reading the profiles of several users, I was less than shocked to find that they were all single, or had fetishes saved for sites that most countries like to try to make illegal.
*** OK, so I may have made the forum and all of that conversation up, and if the user names actually exist, I apologise. Except when I say “I apologise”, I actually mean “Dude…you need to get out more! Heed my warning…you will die lonely”.
© 2008, Sy. All rights reserved.
on 
17 responses so far ↓
1 Greg M
// Oct 21, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Sy, this Lego madness reprieve save my day. The sad part of all of this is that it is 100% believable.
2 Sy
// Oct 21, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Yeah, I didnt want to research it just in case I did actually find those forums!! The orgin or this post came from http://orange.co.uk/news/quirkies/?rm=storyitem&storyId=3020309 which says he collects it…it doesnt go as far as saying he needs to get a life, but it should!!!
3 The Movie Whore
// Oct 21, 2008 at 7:12 pm
I suddenly feel so normal. I must go now and do something crazy or I just won’t be able to sleep tonight.
4 Sy
// Oct 21, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I bet that is a line you never thought you would type! Now. Go stick your underwear on your head and put two pencils up your nose!
5 Georgie B
// Oct 22, 2008 at 12:26 am
Define normal.
6 Sy
// Oct 22, 2008 at 1:28 am
i am quietly confident that is not something i could define which would make sense to anyone else!
7 Speck
// Oct 22, 2008 at 10:17 am
Hey! Hey! Hey! What are you doing lurking around on our boards??? I’ll have you know the six-dot yellow bricks are hard to find and highly prized!
And yes I do have a life…on Wednesdays…every other February…if it’s not raining. How did this pencil get up my nose???
Oh crap, now I have to go put more tape on my glasses.
May the force be with you and live long and prosper. Nano, nano.
8 Georgie B
// Oct 22, 2008 at 11:46 am
Okay.
Define abnormal.
9 crse
// Oct 22, 2008 at 12:49 pm
GREAT insight on the “big butts” rip-off. Do you read minds with that sparkly intuition? Im also particularly fond of your manner of “apologising”.
10 Sy
// Oct 22, 2008 at 7:58 pm
@Speck – Well if anyone was going to be there, it had to be you. Of course, being the site administrator, it made more than enough sense!
@Georgie B – Hmm..that is VERY easy. Anything that isn’t me! Although I do have “strange” collections of my own which would be defined as abnormal to others, which is why I had to do the lego post…to make me look sexy to the ladies.
@CRSE – I dont need to read minds. I browse peoples email accounts and get all the details!
Well, it was the best apology I could muster at the time of writing, so I hope they appreciate it!
11 Georgie B
// Oct 23, 2008 at 12:12 am
Sexy to the ladies?????
Good lord, if this is your idea of sexy, I hate to think what your idea of non-sexy is.
Now, if you were talking about Lincoln Logs or Tinker Toys, then you might be on to something.
12 Speck
// Oct 23, 2008 at 12:31 am
Hey, I’m site admin for those boards too!
We’re making a life-sized replica of Jabba the Hutt’s Palace out of Lincoln Logs.
13 Georgie B
// Oct 23, 2008 at 11:56 am
Okay….Jabba the Hutt’s Palace out of Lincoln logs.
Hmmm…..
And Princess Laia will be made out of an erector set?
14 Sy
// Oct 23, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys….hmmm…i have never heard of them! Assuming they have a different name over here. I will have to do some research!
Although I do know that Princess Leia gives me an erector set!
15 Georgie B
// Oct 23, 2008 at 10:56 pm
They were popular toys when I was growing up in the 70′s. Easy to use and hours of constructive (or non-constructive) fun.
I think you can still find them in the better quality toy stores that populate the United States here.
16 Sy
// Oct 24, 2008 at 2:21 am
OK, I found Lincoln Logs, and frankly…I want some! They look great fun!
17 Rose
// Oct 27, 2008 at 4:02 am
I’m glad you made it up. A lego lover forum?
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