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This post is complete and utter…censored.

October 29th, 2008 · 2 Comments

Censorship is a wonderful thing.  The ability to change something perfectly good and ruin it because someone somewhere has an issue.

An example of this is watching a music video channel.  I watched a song where the word “pissed” was dubbed over.  Sadly it was not dubbed over with the words “covered in whipped cream” or something as that would make it more fun to hear “I’m covered in whipped cream cause you came around” .  But it was 11pm at night.  I am fairly sure that I am allowed to hear the word “pissed” at 11pm at night.  It wound me up quite a bit and I sat for a couple of hours with it building up inside of me, so to confirm this I woke my very tired wife up and asked her.  Her reply said it all.  She said

“It is 1am in the morning.  You are 33 years old for hells sake.  Piss off”

So there you have it.  I am allowed to hear it.  But what was even more stupid about the word being dubbed over is that the following video…just 4 minutes later…contained full frontal nudity, someone vomiting, fighting and everything else you get in a video by the Prodigy.  Uncensored.  OK, so I am not complaining about being forced to see female nudity.  And by forced I mean I didn’t blink for 3 minuted 20 seconds.

I have decided that bad words shall be dubbed over on this site for the remainder of this post.  Bad/whatever I feel like/naughty words will be replaced with the word “bunny wabbit”.

I hate censorship about as much as I hate small issues that get so blown out of context that I would rather enjoy a violent kick in the bunny wabbit when I am least expecting it. 

Over here is good old Blighty we currently have an issue whereas 2 radio presenters left a few voice mails on an old guys phone.  OK, so they weren’t exactly “Hey, would you like to come for dinner?” and one of the messages did contain “I bunny wabbit you granddaughter!”. 

Outrage!  Sack them!  Disgusting! were all words that got thrown about.  Except that during the show, they had a combined total of 2 complaints (one I believe was from someone who missed it and wanted it replayed and the other was from someone who needs to get a life).  And then the worthless jobsworths at the tabloid rags got hold of it and printed about the outrage.  And now 20000 people have complained.

Just one thing.  The granddaughter, the unhappy poor little girl who has had her name all over the papers and probably desperately doesn’t want to be in all the papers because she is such an innocent little bunny wabbit.  Well, she has a stage-name of Voluptua and promotes herself as a member of Satanic Sluts Extreme.  I don’t see a need for censoring that line.  It is all above board.  And she did indeed sleep with one of the presenters.  So “Voluptua” who also has the name Georgina Baillie  should you feel the need to look her up, has a 78 year old grandfather who didnt hear the voicemails for 3 days.  Of course he didn’t.  He is 78.  He doesn’t even know he HAS a phone!

This issue is on TV constantly at the moment.  It is just lucky it is a slow news year and there are no issues with global markets and people losing their homes, petrol prices rising and falling and record profits by the oil companies.  Oh, and the fact that no one talks about me.  Which they should because I am an amazingly interesting person you know and not a complete bunny wabbit like the people talked about in this post.

So I wish to start a moral crusade.  A crusade to stop the filth that is fed to us daily.  The disgusting mess that destroys our lives and creates a culture built around false hopes and promises.

I am talking about bunny wabbit.

Ah..sorry, I forgot I am censoring.  Let me just uncensor that line and try again.

I am talking about reality TV.  Shows that involve people living in houses with lots of cameras or a bunch of people who honestly truly think they can sing.  And they can’t.  Oh for the love of Bunny wabbit they can’t.

Or bunny wabbit factor and Big Bunny Wabbit as they are known over here.

It needs to stop and WE need to stop it.  So if you are against bunny wabbit TV, write to your local bunny wabbit (dammit…I mean member of parliament.  The censoring toolkit I have is really getting involved here!) and demand that it is taken off the air and replaced with something better.  Maybe the test signal or something which contains that bit more excitement.  If you are indeed a fan of these shows, sort your bunny wabbit life out and get on board with my crusade already!

Wow.  You just read over 800 words.  That is time you will never get back!  Do come back again!

© 2008, Sy. All rights reserved.

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2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Georgie BNo Gravatar // Oct 29, 2008 at 10:51 pm

    Getting better.

    Sometimes you need to do a few warm ups.

  • 2 Mrs TNo Gravatar // Nov 12, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    Bunny wabbit brillant. You’re on a roll Mr H.

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