Note: Parts (well, all considering the drivel I write) of this post will make absolutely NO sense at all unless you happen to know the track Thunderstruck by AC/DC. If you don’t know it, or if you fancy a little refresher, HERE is it. Just the intro words are all you really need, but hey, it is such a great song, stick about and listen to the lot.
My wife and I have a “bedroom” rule. This rule is that she always sleeps in the wet patch. Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking “Gee, is sex all he thinks about?” Well, no…this isn’t about sex. The wet patch I mention is where she makes clay models in bed. Coz you know…doesn’t everybody? And that is where the wet patch on the bed comes from. Her splashing water on her clay model. So if you could maybe sort your dirty mind out for a minute I would really appreciate it.
We used to do it together. We were a regular Swayze/Moore double act in the clay department. But my artistic approach to life is a little on the “complete and utter rubbish” side. So while I was making a tea cup fit for a bin, she was off modeling the Sistine chapel to scale.
Yes there were people worldwide who were supremely jealous of our bedroom habits. I was always happy as I was always in the nice warm dry part of the bed.
Until yesterday, when it all changed.
Waking up to the muffled noises of a child waking up, I picked up 4 months old worth of small person and gave her a bottle of the finest house white which my wife had prepared (prepared? I don’t know…grew? created? Either way, it came from the fun parts that I am not allowed to touch anymore).
Gulping it down as if she had been starved for 12 hours (it had only been 10…such a drama queen), she finished the bottle in one mighty go, and settled down laying face down on my chest and went to sleep.
And then it happened. In the distance I could hear a sound. Someone singing. It went “Na na naaa naa na na”.
And then again. “Na na naaa naa na na”
And again. “Na na naaa naa na na”
Every time it got a little louder.
And then as it sounded like it got closer, it changed.
“Na na naaa naa na na – Chunder!”
And again. “Na na naaa naa na na – Chunder!”
And once more. Each time sounding closer and building to a conclusion.
And then, with one hefty move which normally is only seen in a hollywood movie, it came to a conclusion.
You’ve been….CHUNDERSTRUCK.
I was covered. The bed was covered. I looked like the Stay-Puff man (without the smile). My already English whiter-than-white-no-sun-touched-for-thirty-three-years body was now a different shade of white.
Looking up at me, my daughter smiled a smile of “Ah. That’s better!”. And then my wife rolled over, looked at me dripping with regurgitated breast milk, and said:
“Has she been sick?”
“No honey, I am trying out a new all over body, bed and floor cream.”
on 
10 responses so far ↓
1 Another blogger
// Nov 22, 2008 at 1:00 pm
OMG!! that was hilarious!!
you had me laughing non stop throughout the post!!
i guess lots more of those ‘sleeping on the wet patch’ nights are in store for you..
good luck
2 Sy
// Nov 22, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I feel you may be right! Well, until I banish her to her own room…which I fear may not be for several months.
Maybe it is time to get a cover protector for the matress!
3 Georgie B
// Nov 22, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Ahhhhh….the joy of being on the receiving end of a bazooka shot…..
Priceless…..
4 Mikiye Creations
// Nov 23, 2008 at 11:01 pm
EEEeeeeeewwww!!!!
LOL!
I have been away for SOOO LONG and missed your creative and interesting antics!
I have to confess…before I read this…I just finished eating my lunch!
lol!!!!
Ah…good times are back!!!!
5 Sy
// Nov 24, 2008 at 12:39 pm
@Georgie B – Yup, she certainly gets her projectile vomiting from her Dad.
@Mikiye – Hey stranger! Great to have you back! How are things? It is good to see you are back straight after you have lunch…some things must never change!!
6 Mrs T
// Nov 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm
What can I say?
That was hilarious! Miss Sy obviously has a sense of humour too!
7 NanciELizabeth
// Nov 25, 2008 at 4:18 am
Gool lord, Sigh-mon, everyone knows you only listen to AC/DC’s “Hell’s Bells” while feeding a wee one. Next thing you know, you’ll be trying to feed her to “Stairway to Heaven.” Please, though, by all that is Holy and Sacred DO NOT let her be exposed to the toxic ‘Pie Song” (yes, that bollocks by Don McLean.) You will scar that beautiful girl for life. Now, are you remembering your lessons on dating? When the punk-ass that wants to take your beautiful daughter out, look him straight in the eye and say, “Hey, I got no problem going back to prison.”
8 licketySplitAUS
// Nov 27, 2008 at 6:40 am
Ha hahaha – I’ve got that song in my head now.
It reminded me how my 10 year old daughter is a head banger because she went to an ACDC concert in the womb.
9 Sy
// Nov 27, 2008 at 1:05 pm
@MRS T – If Miss Sy ends up with my sense of humour, the world is dooooooomed!!
@NanciElizabeth – She wont be dating. Period. And if she does, he will indeed be climbing a stairway to heaven!
@LIKETYSPLITAUS – I think I know what is coming up in life now! My daughter has been to Alice Cooper amongst a good few others! Am I ever in trouble!!
10 I’m gonna kick you, punch you, vomit on you and unconditionally love you // Jul 24, 2009 at 12:03 am
[...] I already did a post about one of these incidents which is HERE. But it still amazes me how something so small can somehow empty it’s entire stomach out in [...]
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