During a nice break from that work thing tonight (I would say during my lunch break, but really…what do you call a break on a night shift?), I took an IQ test online. And then I took another one because I just didn’t believe the first one.
According to the two sites, I have an IQ of 136 on the first site and 137 on the second site.
And then I looked up on other sites what that IQ meant. It reckons that I am on the higher side of gifted. The average IQ is 100. Apparently. So after that, I looked up what IQ actually stands for.
Bollocks am I gifted! I am confident that 100% of you lot are more intelligent than that, which means just where are the below average people? Do they live underground, smell like macaroni and creep up through the manholes in the road in the early hours and steal all our underwear that we leave out? Honestly…How does this really work?
The only gift I have is that I don’t see many people, and that is more a gift to humankind than to me, and of deep regret to the guys I work with as they have to see me. Even my daughter has started napping more during the day since she started seeing me more frequently.
Higher than average IQ? I cant even count to 12 as I run out of appendages to use. I bought some toys for my daughter so we could both learn. Of course, to look like the good teacher, I have started early so it is easy to be able to teach her. I am having trouble. The star will just not fit the circle. Where the hell am I going wrong? No matter how hard I whack the brick, it just wont fit.
And this is true… I once had to change a light bulb, but the fitting was bayonet, and I had got a screw in bulb. I stared for ages trying to work out where the extra fitting must have fallen off and hit the floor to allow the bulb to screw in. OK, so I was drunk…but I don’t see that it makes a difference.
I would put my school grades on here as proof, but the key next to the letters G and the D isn’t working, so I cannot list my English and Math grades. The others? Well, lets just say they weren’t happy that a small child had taken the test instead of a 16 year old male. And almost 18 years after that, I am pretty sure I got dumber instead of smarter!
In fact, the one and only time a teacher at my school actually wanted me in their class was when I had accidentally found a way in to the network user admin program and during a little “If I change this, I will have my own user with full administrator permissions” fun, I locked out the teacher. Strangely, I found a career in IT the way forward!
I have alphabetti spaghetti for dinner to help me spell. And I didn’t get the nickname of Simple Simon because of my simply awesome good looks.
Oh, and just in case you think I am lying about the IQ thing, they give you a badge to use: (So click it and go take a test!)
Yup. I know. I even checked to see if there was a . between the 1 and the 3 because that would make a LOT more sense.
So what is up with the tests? Are we talking about the IQ of a goat? Because you know, when I came across the IQ test, I was actually looking for *cough* kinky goat outfits *cough*.
I am planning on taking the MENSA one tomorrow just to get back in that sub 100 bracket.
17 responses so far ↓
1 Jennifer Shell
// Jan 28, 2009 at 1:25 pm
“No matter how hard I whack the brick, it just wont fit.” I can’t tell you how many times I felt this exact same way!!! I loved this post and am so happy to have stumbled across your blog! Rest assured I will be back!
~Jennifer
2 Sy
// Jan 28, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Hey Jennifer!
I am glad you like it, and great to have you aboard!
I tell you, that damn brick just never fits, but I will get it in there…even if I have to take a hacksaw to it!
3 app
// Jan 29, 2009 at 2:23 pm
You should learn binary, because then you can count up to 31 on one hand. Plus you get to yell out “four!” when you flip people the bird. ;-P
4 Sy
// Jan 29, 2009 at 3:07 pm
The next thing you know, I will be creating a dance where the lyrics are about shifting a bit to the left. But then, it is easier that trying to pronounce <<.
5 app
// Jan 29, 2009 at 11:56 pm
I am not sure the “popular” public would appreciate it if the geeks took over their clubs with a bit shift dance.
6 Static
// Jan 30, 2009 at 6:03 am
What that site doesn’t tell you is that you add up the digits of your IQ test score and that is your actual IQ. For instance, I got 142, if I add 1+4+2 that equals…uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 4, no wait….6? Nope, um, 7! Yep, my IQ is 7. =)
7 Georgie B
// Jan 30, 2009 at 12:14 pm
You’re gifted?
Wow……
Tell me, what kind of gifts did you get for being gifted.
And to the poster above me, you’ve shown excellent math skills. A cushy job awaits you in the public sector.
8 Tiggy
// Jan 30, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I got 134. Does that make me smart at guessing answers?
9 Sy
// Jan 30, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@App – I am also pretty sure that if we were to do too much machine code on here, people would start throwing fruit at us!
@Static – If I have to add up mine, I am going to be WAY smarter than I am in real life. Hell, the other day I didnt dribble on the keyboard! Was that ever a good day!
@Georgie B – Yup! That’s what the internet site that has no real proof tells me! I got the gift of being able to tell them that their test is rubbish!
@Tiggy – We all know ya smart Miss Tiggy! But I saw the original score you got of 197, so thanks for lowering it to make me feel better.
10 NanciElizabeth
// Jan 30, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Well, well, welly well. From dicks to alchol to IQs in less than a week. I’m getting the bends. Can we go back to talking about dicks again, Si-mon?
11 Sy
// Jan 30, 2009 at 10:45 pm
You are kidding…you said no more peen talk, and now you wanna go back there? Nanci…help me out here. Although I think the alcohol appears in pretty much every post!!!
12 NanciElizabeth
// Jan 30, 2009 at 10:50 pm
and so it does…just a toast to your infinite variety.
i think i just threw up a little…
13 Sy
// Jan 31, 2009 at 11:31 am
You will be pleased to know that the next post includes…..*drum roll*….a penis and things being inserted. Yes, this stuff just keeps heading in my direction.
14 Mrs T
// Feb 2, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Okay what’s the MENSA result?…Please, please beat Madonna’s…..
I never take these tests myself for fear of looking more stupid than I already am! Eg, my dad used to give us a reading test at home and it took me years to remember to say Isleland (island) and not ISland. Do you get what I’m saying Sy? Too confusing? Don’t worry, I’ve confused myself…at least I don’t leave in Ireland there would be no hope for me then….
15 Annie
// Feb 9, 2009 at 11:12 pm
I know, I took one of those tests and realized I had far too many friends. I should be sitting in the barn formulating the cure for cancer. btw I got a 143
16 Sy
// Feb 9, 2009 at 11:14 pm
143?? Are the nosebleeds starting to get annoying? I mean…I lied about mine. I got 29, but got someone to fake the image for me… *cough*
17 Mike
// Feb 17, 2009 at 8:16 pm
In my experience, many people with high IQ think they are average. There are two reasons for this.
1) When people take IQ tests they feel the questions they were able to answer were easy or straight-forward, and the questions they couldn’t answer were difficult questions. And since they could answer the easy questions, but not the hard questions, they must be average. People with high IQ don’t always feel smart because they got so many questions right. They just feel that the test had too many easy questions. They are often shocked when other people can’t answer some of these questions.
2) People with mid to high IQ tend to have jobs and associate with others who have the same mid to high IQ. So their sense of what is “average” is skewed.
Overall, I thought the test was too short to be very accurate. It would be interesting to see the stats on all of the data from this site.
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