The Wheel is Turning, but the Hamster is Dead header image 2

Ouiji Board Turning, Sy Possibly Dead

April 20th, 2009 · 20 Comments

I may have to change the name  and location of this site.  It will be hosted by Afterlife Enterprises and to get there you just need to go to your local voodoo store and grab a ouija board.  OK, so the updates will be a little slow because they are spelt out letter by letter, but at least you can make a party out of it.  Everyone brings a bottle and a notepad and pen, and I will try to keep posts down to 5 words.  The first will probably be “It’s bloody hot down here!”.

Pretty simple really.  But let me explain why the name change.

A few weeks back I noticed something a little strange with my PC speakers.  When the volume is on mute, it randomly plays a French radio station.  Very loudly.  Well, I think it is French.  It is foreign and I know what Welsh sounds like, and it isn’t that, so I decided on French.  It’s freaky.  If I am sleeping, I get woken up to voices in the room.  The first time it happened, I jumped out of bed, armed myself with an empty Coke Zero can I had by the side of the bed (coz you know, why wouldn’t you.  My fists may be righteous justice, but the can just seemed to be that little something more) and went on the hunt for the voices in my head house.  Lets be honest, any burglar that looks up and a naked fat dude is standing there with a can of coke zero…well, he is going to be either long gone or laughing so hard I will be able to apprehend him by sitting on his head.

But OK, nothing bad here so far…unless you are the burglar with my bare arse on his head.

And then this weekend…. I actually done some work.

No really, a LOT of work. 

Hard work.  Digging holes, hammering posts in to the ground, erecting fencing and all that fun stuff.  Nothing impressive there except that it is about the first time in 10 years I actually done that much manual work.  I am an office monkey.  Hell, I am not even that far up the food chain.   My chair has “slouch mode” and it is stuck in it.

But then I was sore.  My hands ached, my back achesdand my toe which I dropped a stuffing big block of wood on was now as big as my head.  And that’s big.  And pretty.

So feeling a little sore and feeling the effects from the sun, I went for a lay down.

And then the speakers started again.  Only this time it wasn’t French.  It was English.  And the voice was talking about religion and how we will be saved and some other BS that I wasn’t really listening to. 

So why do my PC speakers feel I should now repent my skin and accept this juicies dude?  And why does he call himself juicies?  What do my speakers know that I don’t?

Well, I found out why.  I woke up in the middle of the night and my left arm has that ominous dull pain which you read about and it is not good news.  I also don’t feel so well.

And then this morning, my speakers picked up a radio station which was playing “Always look on the bright side of life” while I was getting dressed.

And then on the drive to work I passed a car with two nuns in it which I think had broken down.  I decided this by seeing them standing by the side of the road with the bonnet up.  I didn’t stop because they may have been axe murderers dressed up as Nuns…which you know…it could happen!

What’s worse is that I am actually not making any of this up!  OK, maybe the part about sleeping naked.  I would never turn down the chance to wear my superman jimjams.

So if the site goes quiet for… know, forever…Ouija me up baby!  I’ll even give you the winning lottery numbers!

Talking of the site going quiet…I am taking a break.  OK fine…I am going on holiday on Friday for a week.  Where?  None of your business.  What will I be doing?  None of your business.  Will I be back?  Read above. 

So I leave the site in your capable hands to abuse as you feel. 

Alternatively, I wrote a post for another site HERE.  Have a read…I dare ya.

© 2009, Sy. All rights reserved.


Tags: General Madness

20 responses so far ↓

  • 1 TameraNo Gravatar // Apr 20, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    Have a nice holiday, and sorry to read about your aching everything! (sounds like you really do need a vacation)…(and, sorry for laughing at you, but the image of you standing like that with a Coke Zero..just really reminded me of Homer)…ROFL

    Tamera’s last blog post..Relaying an alert to bloggers regarding the site

  • 2 TiggyNo Gravatar // Apr 20, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    Oh yeah, the “relaxing break”. I went on one of those and ended up writing 187 blog posts out of sheer guilt. Mind you, if the worst does happen, at least you’ll have a stockpile of posts – it would be like you’d never gone away!

    Have fun, watch out for socks.

    Tiggy’s last blog post..4/20 Day: A Place For Your Stash

  • 3 LukeNo Gravatar // Apr 20, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    Damn manual labor, whoever invented that deserves to be taken outside and given an uppercut. Have a good holiday, you will be missed.

    Luke’s last blog post..Hmmm…teehee, boobies

  • 4 G.No Gravatar // Apr 21, 2009 at 11:37 am

    But…but…but…but…where am I gonna get my daily dose of semi-good English humor?


    In any event, have a fun-filled holiday. If there was anyone who desperately needs one, it’s you.

    G.’s last blog post..Music Makes My World Go ‘Round…IV

  • 5 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 21, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    @ Tami – I am nowhere near as good looking as Homer is! I try, but I just cant get the yellow right….

    @ Tiggy – I shall not be taking the laptop, and I cant use a pen and paper as I dont know how to, so I am hoping I am good to go on the not writing posts thing!

    @ Luke – Thanks dude! On my return I will be setting up an anti-manual labour taskforce. I’ll get em…

    @ G – Semi-good? Dude…I am not THAT good yet! More kind of once or twice humourous. It’s a work in (very slow) progress!

  • 6 Flying Saucer JonesNo Gravatar // Apr 22, 2009 at 5:30 am

    Enjoy your holidays, Sy. Just relax and let everone else do all the work.

    Flying Saucer Jones’s last blog post..I Don’t Like Cricket. I Love It.

  • 7 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 22, 2009 at 7:46 am

    It sounds like a great plan with one possible problem… We are taking a 9 month old child (and I mean my daughter rather than give you the impression I am a small child!). But regardless, I cannot wait! Roll on 4am Friday morning when I pack up the car and drive for a very long time!

  • 8 Jenn ThorsonNo Gravatar // Apr 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    Hmmm… something trying to contact you from beyond using technology.

    Are you sure you’re not trapped in an upcoming Japanese horror film remake?

    If the Ouija board spells out anything about watching a YouTube video and dying three days later, be concerned. :)

    Jenn Thorson’s last blog post..How to Prepare Zombie Chicken

  • 9 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 22, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Weirdly, I have an idea for a video post that I shall be doing in a couple of weeks (if me and the camcorder get on well enough) which will be put up on youtube or directly on to this site…and watching that will make everyone concerned…and possibly WANT to end their lives! Lets just say it involves me making a dolphin and a seal exchange bodily fluids….no, really. The things I make nature do for you lot!

  • 10 Roxy the RottieNo Gravatar // Apr 22, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Whilst you’re away, who will be guarding your home with a can of Coke Zero? Or have you left the speakers on mute for the burglars to think you’re either in or inhabited by a poltergeist?

    Roxy the Rottie’s last blog post..warlord0 has added JaneTurley to their friends list.

  • 11 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 23, 2009 at 6:47 am

    I have fitted the cats with semi automatic coke firing machines. Should someone try to get it, there will be a fur-ball and coke zero can attack on three fronts. They will learn the hard way!

  • 12 Flying Saucer JonesNo Gravatar // Apr 23, 2009 at 11:39 am

    One more sleep, mate. Hope you have a great break.

    Flying Saucer Jones’s last blog post..I Don’t Like Cricket. I Love It.

  • 13 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 23, 2009 at 11:42 am

    Cheers fella! And not even 1 more…more like half a sleep. Have to be up at 3:30am! but ah man, I cannot wait to have no phone signal, no internet connection, and just time with my wife and kiddy relaxing and having fun. Bliss!

    See ya on the flip side!

  • 14 KellyNo Gravatar // Apr 24, 2009 at 5:39 am

    Hope ya get to feelin’ better, dude. Drink a couple Harvey Wallbangers. Take a heavy painkiller or smoke a hooter. Or both. Watch monkeys dance. It’s all good.

    Kelly’s last blog post..14 Things That Never Fail To Annoy

  • 15 SyNo Gravatar // May 2, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I am back! Hell, I might even write a new post some point this year! OK fine, I am working on one now, but so far it is boring even me…and I am the one writing it, so it may never see the light of day!

  • 16 Flying Saucer JonesNo Gravatar // May 2, 2009 at 11:48 am

    Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about. Wait. You aren’t Mister Kotter.

    Hope you had a good one.

    Flying Saucer Jones’s last blog post..Babushka Dreams

  • 17 SyNo Gravatar // May 2, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    It’s good to be back! And I mean that. OK, so I may not mean that. Actually. No. I dont mean that. I am 7 hours away from a 12 hour night shoft at work….and I only got back from holiday last night! How is any of this fair I ask you! But yeah it was a great break thanks! Although I could do with another one. A friend of mine is getting married in your neck of the woods on the 4th…and boy would I like to be there for that one!

  • 18 LukeNo Gravatar // May 2, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    We missed you greatly mate, and you should make the effort to come to Australia and get away from work for a bit longer.

  • 19 SyNo Gravatar // May 2, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    It’s more tempting than you can imagine Luke! It’s on my list of “Move there one day” things.

  • 20 LukeNo Gravatar // May 3, 2009 at 11:45 pm

    You would be a blessing upon our nation.

    Luke’s last blog post..Frozen Apologies, Melted

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