I may have to change the name and location of this site. It will be hosted by Afterlife Enterprises and to get there you just need to go to your local voodoo store and grab a ouija board. OK, so the updates will be a little slow because they are spelt out letter by letter, but at least you can make a party out of it. Everyone brings a bottle and a notepad and pen, and I will try to keep posts down to 5 words. The first will probably be “It’s bloody hot down here!”.
Pretty simple really. But let me explain why the name change.
A few weeks back I noticed something a little strange with my PC speakers. When the volume is on mute, it randomly plays a French radio station. Very loudly. Well, I think it is French. It is foreign and I know what Welsh sounds like, and it isn’t that, so I decided on French. It’s freaky. If I am sleeping, I get woken up to voices in the room. The first time it happened, I jumped out of bed, armed myself with an empty Coke Zero can I had by the side of the bed (coz you know, why wouldn’t you. My fists may be righteous justice, but the can just seemed to be that little something more) and went on the hunt for the voices in my head house. Lets be honest, any burglar that looks up and a naked fat dude is standing there with a can of coke zero…well, he is going to be either long gone or laughing so hard I will be able to apprehend him by sitting on his head.
But OK, nothing bad here so far…unless you are the burglar with my bare arse on his head.
And then this weekend…. I actually done some work.
No really, a LOT of work.
Hard work. Digging holes, hammering posts in to the ground, erecting fencing and all that fun stuff. Nothing impressive there except that it is about the first time in 10 years I actually done that much manual work. I am an office monkey. Hell, I am not even that far up the food chain. My chair has “slouch mode” and it is stuck in it.
But then I was sore. My hands ached, my back achesdand my toe which I dropped a stuffing big block of wood on was now as big as my head. And that’s big. And pretty.
So feeling a little sore and feeling the effects from the sun, I went for a lay down.
And then the speakers started again. Only this time it wasn’t French. It was English. And the voice was talking about religion and how we will be saved and some other BS that I wasn’t really listening to.
So why do my PC speakers feel I should now repent my skin and accept this juicies dude? And why does he call himself juicies? What do my speakers know that I don’t?
Well, I found out why. I woke up in the middle of the night and my left arm has that ominous dull pain which you read about and it is not good news. I also don’t feel so well.
And then this morning, my speakers picked up a radio station which was playing “Always look on the bright side of life” while I was getting dressed.
And then on the drive to work I passed a car with two nuns in it which I think had broken down. I decided this by seeing them standing by the side of the road with the bonnet up. I didn’t stop because they may have been axe murderers dressed up as Nuns…which you know…it could happen!
What’s worse is that I am actually not making any of this up! OK, maybe the part about sleeping naked. I would never turn down the chance to wear my superman jimjams.
So if the site goes quiet for…ohh..you know, forever…Ouija me up baby! I’ll even give you the winning lottery numbers!
Talking of the site going quiet…I am taking a break. OK fine…I am going on holiday on Friday for a week. Where? None of your business. What will I be doing? None of your business. Will I be back? Read above.
So I leave the site in your capable hands to abuse as you feel.
Alternatively, I wrote a post for another site HERE. Have a read…I dare ya.
© 2009, Sy. All rights reserved.