Monthly Archives: February 2008

There is no such thing as a “healthy food”. No matter what all these so called experts say. I know this because *I* am an expert and know more then everyone else. This is a well known fact because someone once said to me “you know everything don’t you”. I ignored the sarcastic undertones andContinue reading “Should my stomach really be forced to endure this?”

Well it didn’t take long for more candidates for the list to be sent to the stupid person island to appear. Loading up the boat this week are: “GREENbin – New Collection Service for Garden Waste” the front page ad of the local freebie newspaper shouts at me with excitement when I read it. Wow.Continue reading “Another batch for the stupid people island.”

The Valentines bunny just delivered the post. Why is it that the electricity company sent me more post then you people? And I don’t want to hear “Well, we don’t know your address!” or anything. Stalking really has gone up the wall these days hasn’t it. You have to feel for the Valentines bunny though.Continue reading “So? What is YOUR excuse?”

I spent a quite enthrawling lunch today sitting on a chair in the corner of the room eating what was allegedly a sandwich. I believe the lab results will prove otherwise and it will come back as an infestation of unknown substances who have an aim to take over the world one stomach at aContinue reading “It’s Smurf Paranoia. Don’t feel so blue.”

Ever had one of those days where you know it is for the greater good of mankind that you stay in bed and don’t leave it? You know the ones. The days where you can’t do something so simple that you wonder how you remember to breathe. Today I did ALL of the following. NoneContinue reading “It isn’t that I am stupid per say…”

Every day the past week I have woken up and looked at another womans chest. Yet my wife is fine with this. Infact, it was her that showed me them to start with. Now she buys magazines with the same kind of content. She leaves them all over the house and actually encourages me toContinue reading “So looking is OK right?”

I am concerned that I might be immortal. Is it really good to be immortal? A long life is not for the faint hearted. You are born in to this world unable to control your bowel and bladder. Then as the years go on, you get old and lose control of the same bowel andContinue reading “Wanted: Midlife Crisis”

Various animals have an intelligence we are quite ignorant of. For instance, this link below shows you the intelligence of cats: I Have Two Cats This post is about a parrot. His name is Zorro. He is an African Grey. He hates me. Parrots are well known for their interaction with humans. Zorro should getContinue reading “It’s my way or the fly away.”

As a child, I wanted to be an astronaut. There is nothing too unusual about this! The heavens are a huge mystery which we won’t learn much more about in my lifetime. Therefore, every valentines day, I would send valentines cards to all the women that had been in space hoping to find someone IContinue reading “My Valentines Cards went to the wrong “heavens””