February 2009

Fact: You can beat illness by having more sex!

In the best piece of research since I wondered if I could eat a hollowed out Cumberland sausage stuffed with dog crap, the good old NHS has made my life incredibly exciting by advising people who don’t get time to work out to just have lots of sex. The say, and I quote (because quoting is funContinue reading “Fact: You can beat illness by having more sex!”

Exposing yourself in public is just as not much fun as it could be.

Lets talk about the contents of a pair of my jeans. (I mean the materials used to make them!) They haven’t got a zipper fly, they have those annoying buttons. And they are making my life hell. If I don’t get arrested at some point in the next week or so and end up withContinue reading “Exposing yourself in public is just as not much fun as it could be.”

Because I am that nice…

Or lazy. You decide. I would like a guest post from you. Yes, you…the person reading this. So if you haven’t got a blog and fancy writing something, or have a blog and fancy doing the crazy, drop me a mail with your post to sy@wheelturninghamsterdead.com for me to have a read. A few rules. 1Continue reading “Because I am that nice…”

I may not be any good at movie reviews, but I will speak to your deceased animal.

In the highly unlikely event that I become a movie reviewer anytime soon, I have decided I would start with the film “The Day The World Stood Still” which I had the misfortune to watch tonight. I believe it’s alternative title is “The day I tore out my own heart with nothing but tweezers andContinue reading “I may not be any good at movie reviews, but I will speak to your deceased animal.”

Dumped…with style.

I dont generally post youtube vids, but I saw this and laughed WAY too heard to not share. Enjoy. It’s 7 minutes long, but so worth the time out of your day.

“Hello, emergency services? I have a penis ring stuck on the little dude”.

I have never pretended to be innocent. Hell, once I swore in front of my teddy bear! We don’t talk much anymore since the incident. He took it kinda seriously. All I asked him was “So. You really shit in the woods then?” and he totally lost it. Yeah, crazy crazy days. So because ofContinue reading ““Hello, emergency services? I have a penis ring stuck on the little dude”.”

Abusing Search Engine Results….Because I Can.

Here we go again in the fun series of abusing the search engine results. As always (because I am not original enough to change the format), the words in the ” ” are real search engine results as told to me by my stat counter. Don’t believe me? Go to google and type em inContinue reading “Abusing Search Engine Results….Because I Can.”

There is zero chance she is going to be sucking on my breast thankyouverymuch.

Once in a while, someone says something that makes you glad you aren’t a pygmy in the middle of some very hungry rebels. In my case, I was indeed not a pygmy, although I have enough “extra ballast” sitting around my midriff that would feed a whole army of rebels for a good meal orContinue reading “There is zero chance she is going to be sucking on my breast thankyouverymuch.”