Monthly Archives: September 2009

In the most devastating news I have read since I heard that Pinky and Perky are infact siblings, and not lovers, it has been voted by women wordldwide that Englishmen are the second worst nationality in bed.  Yes, in the world, not just in the minds of the Welsh and Scots. Second?  Really?  Yes, weContinue reading “Oh yeah baby, I am a racehorse in bed!”

I read a news story that said an elderly man blew peppers in to women’s faces because he got off on women sneezing.  Sneezing?  As a sexual turn on?  I guess it is something different, and if you hang around a Dr’s surgery, you will have an unlimited supply of material to feed the stoatContinue reading “Oh yeah baby…Sneeze me raw!”

It’s always the same. You are sitting with a girl.  She sits on your lap.  She wants to cuddle.  You want to watch the TV. She cries.  Becomes needy and attention demanding. You give her attention, but you have one eye on the TV.  You waited all week to watch this, and NOW she getsContinue reading “It’s one thing to have a cuddle, but another to realise that she doesn’t love you.”

A British guy who may or may not be a little bit of a nutcase (why did he have to be a fellow Brit?  I mean holy hell!) is considering suing our largest supermarket chain because he was asked to leave for wearing a hood. Oh, did I mention he is the “Jedi church leader ofContinue reading “Jedi Church Leader seeks Pig. GSOH important.”

The makers of Viagra (I can hear the filtering service for the people that receive this post by email working overtime) are working on a cream to replace the familiar little blue tablet.  Did I say familiar? And blue?  And little?  I mean “to replace what they use now. ” Is it a tablet?  I don’t know!Continue reading “No need to swallow, lets just rub it in!”

There I was, minding my own business.  Reading a news site I like to read (it has pictures!) and then…screaming at me from the page…was the most pointless news story in the world.  Filler if you will.  “We have to use up this column…what can we put there?  There is no real news…anyone got anything?”Continue reading “…and in other news, shock bloody horror.”

In the last couple of weeks, my daughter has taken the big move from crawling to walking.  Another way of saying that, is saying watching her “walk” bares a similar resemblance to watching ET in the slow moving queue for the toilet.  And he just had a big dose of MSG.  And he is MSG intolerant. Continue reading “It’s like watching a one footed duck cutting it’s toenails”

About 37 days ago, I came up with this awesome idea to give myself 8 weeks to go from super sloth to get fit enough to run 10K in well under 50 minutes.    A feat that to the average runner is almost the bread and butter running.  To me, someone who hasn’t run for years…it’sContinue reading “Wanted: Sanity and a better idea…”

During a drive to work a few days ago, I passed (I say passed, but realistically, I was doing my impression of a fighter pilot and flew past at mach 99 with my body moulding to the chair) a bus.  On the bus was an advert which was trying to tempt me away from myContinue reading “When Frankie said “Relax”, he wasn’t thinking about busses.”