A special thanks to Mr Owusu who supplied the words to confuse the hell out of me and make me write a story about. He was one of the first people I spoke to in Bloggerland. Now, all these long and winding 5 months down the road, he goes and gives me words like Philosophy, Bum and Antidisestablishmentarianism to write a story. Thanks for that bud. But I asked for the words, so I can barely complain. Although I will. But complaining is what I do. You know what else I do? Write poor stories. Like this one:
Growing up, I had little interest in history. As I got older, I had a little less interest in history. I currently have a pack for crisps and a can of cola by me. Soon they will be history. I won’t look back. Why? Coz that is just the kinda guy I am. My philosophy is to look forwards and not to what could have been.
But there is one time in history that is worth a mention. A time of enlightenment. Of philosophers just “geting it wrong”. Here are 3 quotes:
“Beauty is truth. Truth is beauty” – This was said by an ugly man. A man who used the “Real beauty is on the inside” line to chat up women because he was just too ugly to get a girl because of his hideously larger then normal head.
“It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” – This was said by a woman who ended up being a Bond girl as philosophy just was not her thing in the end. See what that got ya! Naughty Ursula.
“I’m a lumberjack and I don’t care.” – This was said by a lumberjack. Who was he? Why did he not care? His words amaze me to a level seldom reached. His genius lives on longer then any of the previous two quotes.
I am going to concentrate on the lumberjack. On a journey he took which had an end but will remain in history for all time. For the purposes of this story, I shall make up a name for this lumberjack. I have picked Paul. Paul Bunyan.
Paul had a “thing”. His “thing” was going to establishments that married men and men of a serious nature should not go to. Why? Because these places are illegal. Well, in this country they are. They are generally frequented by bums. By the decay of western civilisation. And talking of decay, have you brushed your teeth today? It is important. Not to this story, but hygeine is important people!!
Pauls favourite establishment was called “Di’s Establishment”. There, you could get anything you wanted for a price. Cries of “I’ll show ya me bum for 40 pence” followed by “You can cheek a look at ma bum for 38 pence luvvy” echoed the halls of Di’s establishment.
Then, one day, Paul was robbed by one of the ladies at Di’s establishment. He became very anti Di’s establishment and decided to no longer go there. Infact, so upset was Paul, that he studied hard between lumberjacking and became a politician. He wanted to take Di’s establishment down. He started his own geo-political party called the “Anti Di’s Establishment”. He found that by only having the purest of people in his party, he could make the Anti Di’s Establishment party an Aryan party. Thus becoming an Anti Di’s Establishment Aryan party.
Paul, deciding that now having the purest party in the land, started a full scale war on Di’s Establishment. He forced them out of business, leaving all the bums in the establishment out on the street. It is not known exactly how he managed this because most politicians are visitors to these places, but he realised that with the party he had created, and with everyone having the same coherent ideas, he had indeed created an “ism”. The focus of the Anti Di’s Establishment Aryan Ism’s was strong, and the party cleaned up the land.
Years later, the political party he had created moved in to religion. The church, realising the power that Paul had created, gave it’s highest honor to him, and took his party name and added it to church history. The word is now used for a different meaning, as happens with a lot of words over time.
And that, my friends, is the true story of where AntiDisEstablishmentArianIsm comes from. Ignore all the BS Google tells you. This is the real deal. How do I know this? Well I know everything. Right?
Not bad. I wrote this in under 15 minutes!! A new record for me.
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