Dont bother to read the entire book…the Christmas Turkey done it.
I have been eating left over turkey with the venom of a possessed elf on a trampoline whose sole aim is to be the bounciest elf in elfland
. Now, when I take a leak, all I can smell is roast turkey. That just cant be a good thing. I have been known to drink a lot of beer but no strange smell…or maybe I was too drunk to tell?? Either way, if by mid January when I have finally finished eating the beast taking up half of my fridge (it is a big fridge), it is still smelling like that…well, I probably wont do anything about it. It is one thing to go to the Dr because you have chopped off your sense of humour or something bigger, but walking in and saying “My urine smells like the one food I have been stuffing in my gut hourly for the last month…”. It’s just not going to fly is it! I can hear the answer in my head already. It will be:
Cluck cluck splutter cluck cluck cluck.
That’s all I hear at the moment. Hang on…isn’t that the sound of a chicken with a cold? Ah Christ…what have I been eating! First it was the steroids in the turkey, and now I have bird flu.
I was asked why I write the stuff I have. Why not! It gives me something to do when I am otherwise bored or contracting bird flu or something. And I don’t put much in the way of identifiable information on here. Thus I am granted ammnin…anonim…auntynimi…I can hide behind the curtain that is the Internet with just my toes sticking out! But the question is…why are YOU here? And did you see anything good or are my blog writing skills comparable to the England football team?
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