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Winnie the Pooh Arrested for Honeypot Theft.

March 14th, 2008 · No Comments

I always knew there was something shifty about Winnie the Pooh.  He has shifty eyes, and there is something not quite right about him.  The way he carried himself, and the posse he hung around with.  I guess this story was always going to happen.  And now it has.

About a year ago he got arrested for stealing honey.   You can read more HERE.   (NOT pictured in the news article is a picture of police with taser guns to apprehending him)  He had been on a trip to Macedonia on a thieving rampage of honey stealing from a farmer who he obviously took a grudge to.  What is not mentioned in the news story is where who his accomplices are.  We all know.  Piglet was always going to grow up to be the brawn of the outfit.  He would have taken care of the bee’s while Pooh stole the honey.  Tigger would be on lookout and Eeyore is just stupid.  Winnie the Pooh escaped custody along with his accomplices and vanished.

I managed to track down the crack honey stealing outfit and got a rare interview with Winnie the Pooh.  Gang leader and Honey munching bear.

Sy: Thank you for your time and allowing me to interview you today Winnie.

WtP: *chowing down on honey* uh-huh.  Get on with it.  I have a hot date with Eeyore later.

Sy: OK.  Touchy.  So.  What made you steal the honey?

WtP:  Well you see it is like this.  With rising honey prices and the fact that Disney don’t pay me to work for them anymore now that this fancy “CGI” stuff is available, I landed on hard times.  They even have someone else do the voice-overs instead of me for the “CGI”.  I was dropped like a handful of cat sick. 

Sy:  And this was a reason to go in to theft and not get a day job like the rest of us?

WtP:  Oh yeah, I could of.  But do I look like some sap doing a 9-5 job?  Do I look like MC Hammer or Vanilla Ice?  No I don’t.  I am Winnie the Pooh.  I deserved better.  But because of the beekeeper “Zoran Kiseloski”, the price of honey was getting higher and higher.  And with the HEA (Honey Enforcement Agency) stopping all the black market honey coming through, someone had to teach him a lesson.   What good is a life threatening addiction if you cannot actually get the goods for a reasonable price after all?  I taught him good and well.  He will think twice before messing with honey prices again now he lost so much.

Sy:  Will you fight the extradition order of the Macedonian government should they find out where you are?

WtP:  *laughing*  Yeah whatever.   What chance do they have really?  I ate most of their money making economy.  Like they can afford to fight to have me extradited!

Sy:  Indeed.  So Mr Pooh, what plans are there moving forward?  Obviously a trip to Macedonia is off of the cards.

WtP:  I have a few ideas moving forward.  I have an idea for a cartoon about some animals that escape from New York Zoo.  No one has done anything like that before, so I have a great angle on it.  There will be a crack group of penguins, and a giraffe and Hippo etc.  I think it will work out well.  They will be trying to get to another country.  I won’t say too much more as I do not want the idea stolen.  But keep your eyes peeled!

Sy:  Thanks for your time, and good luck in your venture.

WtP:  Thank you.  *calls to Eeyore*  I am finished with this idiot now.  Get your glad rags on and lets hit town!

That was nice of him to insult me in front of my face.  So I have written a letter to the Macedonian government telling them he is in 100 Aker Woods.  Of course, if you want to maybe get some payback on your own for rising honey prices because of his unlawful invasion of Iraq Macedonia, you know where to find him.

I am expecting to get a cease and desist letter from Disney for this one!

© 2008, Sy. All rights reserved.


Tags: General Madness