The names Woxy. Foxy Woxy. But you can call me Alan. This is my true story. It is a story of a once blossoming friendship which turned to me being stabbed in the back and my once good friend abusing me in the name of money.
That’s me. It had been a pretty long day at this point. I had just come back from court trying to get royalties for pictures that I am in. The court case is still ongoing. Apparently the UK courts don’t see why I, a Fox called Alan, should get any royalties.
The court case exists because my once friend Floog now takes pictures of me in precarious positions and then sells them on. A while ago, he had me in a tutu doing a pirouette. He sold it to me that we could make a lot of money, but have I seen a penny of it? Hell, he doesn’t even leave a plate of food out for me, but there he is in his big comfy house with his family living the high life. As for me; no family. I am far away from that dream trying to find stardom. A stardom that Floog promised me, but never delivered.
Growing up, I was a happy little dude. My Dad did everything he could to get food on the table. He was a professional runner at a race track having dogs chase him while people bet on which dog wins the race. They used to use a hare, but he retired after a nasty incident where he slipped and the dogs caught him. The ambulance chasers were all over that incident.
Even though we didn’t have money, we were always happy. Growing up, I did a stint in the armed forces protecting fox and county. Here is me in my army fatigues:
Fetching huh! The ladies always loved me. It was this picture that Floog took of me which started all of this. He approached me one day while wearing my uniform and said he wanted to take a photo. I let him; afterall, what a compliment for such a promising photographer to want to take a photo of me.
After the photo-shoot, Floog told me that we should work together. With my sexy body, long red hair and a tail so bushy, the ladies faint when they see me, it seemed like I would be on the cover of Foxes World in no time.
Then it all changed. He changed. The pictures were no longer me in muscular foxy positions. He wanted pictures of me dressed in weird clothes. And in poses which no fox should be in. I mean please…have you ever wanted to see a fox wearing a gingham dress? No of course you haven’t. And why would you! And then he started telling me what “sexy” poses I should be doing. Do you think this picture will ever make it to the front cover of Foxes World:
He sold it to me as follows: “Foxy…I want you to put your back leg around your head. I really want to get the men on board on this one”. Huh? What? I am a red blooded Fox called Alan! I want the ladies after me! I mean look at it. It is barely my finest moment is it?! So I said “Look. You have one more chance to get this right or I am off”. He told me to trust him and he would do me right. He said no more gingham dresses and we would go “up market”. I stupidly believed him. Here is what he did:
*sigh* And that was that. I forced a confrontation with Floog. He said “Look, we are making money out of you here!”. We are…or YOU are? Because I am not seeing a penny. He had sold my pictures to some VERY dubious publications such as “Fox Love Monthly” and “Fluffy Tails with Fluffy Tales” magazine.
So there we have it. I am in court with him trying to get some money out of him and maybe live the life that he already lives. It is a tough harrowing time for me, but I, Alan T Fox shall prevail. I have started a campaign and am getting a lot of help from people. Here is one human dressed as a fox standing up for my rights outside the houses or parliament campaigning for me to make money from my intellectual property:
Any donations to my cause can be sent to the link attached to the picture of the hamster on the right hand pane. Remember. A fox isn’t just for Christmas.
Thank you for your time.
Alan T. Fox
The 1st and 3rd images are copyright Floog. I suggest you visit his site. The other pictures…hell, I dunno. I filched em from Google Images, but I believe they are in the public domain. If they aren’t, just shout.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Anuj Pathania
// Apr 1, 2008 at 12:21 am
That is one creatively written post driving in the point.
I hope you win your case and get proper dough for all your intellectual property from that floop.
I hate when people become crass when it comes to money and refuse to share even if they have enough for themselves.
How come they are never satisified.
Regards
Anuj Pathania
Business Consultant
2 Jim - Just a Guy
// Apr 1, 2008 at 12:54 am
Sir you have out done yourself.
3 Tamera
// Apr 1, 2008 at 12:54 am
Hahaha! Oh, you naughty, naughty boy, Sy! Floog got it worse than I did. Does he know about this?
4 Kelly
// Apr 1, 2008 at 1:32 am
Why that dirty, scum suckin’ piece of floog. He should be ashamed. Next, he’ll be asking you to strap your foxy legs around man’s thigh and then…. Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. My mind is wandering.
Anyway, that dirty ol’ floog. I hope you win, Mr. Fox.
5 Mikiye Creations
// Apr 1, 2008 at 4:21 am
Oh Mr. Fox!
At least you were able to see things before they had gone too far!
Imagine before you knew it he could have promised to make you a “movie” star!
…yeah, dim lights and funky music!
Be glad you got wise to HIM!
6 FLOOG
// Apr 1, 2008 at 6:01 am
Damn it, I’ve been rumbled!
It’s all a misunderstanding you see….. I was going to pay the little furry faced fella his dues, but what with the collapse of the US bank recently, and the price of muffins, things have been a little difficult.
Following this article, and the five visits from the RSPCA, animal welfare group, Police, CPS and Interpol, I have decided to offer back pay and compensation to Alan, to clear up the sordid details of this most unfortunate case.
From Wednesday, Alan will be moving into our house and will occupy the ground floor where he will be furnished with all the creme broulee he can eat, and lashings of ginger beer.
I have also agreed to cancel his forthcoming centre spread in ‘KINKY FOXY CHIC MONTHLY’ in which he appeared in nothing but a firemans helmet and a broad grin!
T’was simply a misunderstanding you see…..I always intended to treat him right, and my actions here are nothing to do with the possible threat of a £10,000 fine, reposession of the house and three years in solitary confinement in Rampton’s notorious ‘B’ wing where I’ll no doubt end up as Mr.Big and his ‘soap trick’s ‘ bitch!
Sorry Alan…..mate…..
7 Sy
// Apr 1, 2008 at 8:26 am
@Anuj – Thanks for popping by the ol’ hamster cage!!
@Jim – I was actually pretty happy with it, and then I realised that Floog is a big guy, and I might now be in trouble, but as you can see by his response, he admits fault…
@Tamera – I did tell him that Alan had posted here…I am just the messenger! It was Alan’s post!!
@Kelly – Just where WAS your mind going then fella? Huh? Wandering? It looked like you were running!
@Mikiye – I am sure he is happy to hear of the support he is receiving. He was worried that a career in “films” might appear one day, which is why he got out when he could. Had he been pulled in to the murky underworld, it would not have been pleasent.
@Floog – Rumbled indeed! You know he has a muffin addiction, and regularly has to pay the muffin man, but you held back the precious pennies. Hard love is not always the answer. And you had promised that there was NEVER going to be a spread in Kinky Foxy Chic Monthly, and now you say it is cancelled? He was under the influence of too many muffins when you took those shots of him.
I would suggest that the amount of creme broulee you buy be a veeery big stash young man.
I have just had this message from Alan:
Floog. My once dear dear friend. How did it end like this? We could have really hit the world face on with my looks and your skills. I have been in two minds about cancelling the court case. Public opinion has shone on me, and I am still only now understanding how fully wronged I was. I will postpone the courtcase while we try to reach a settlement, but understand I have a new life now. I am planning to marry a lovely girl called Megan Fox, and am hoping our first son Jamie will be able to do more with his life then I have had the chance to with mine.
My solicitor will be in touch soon.
Alan.
8 FLOOG
// Apr 1, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Dearest Alan,
As an out-of-court settlement, What about a years supply of Creme Broulee and double chocolate chip muffins (those one’s you particularly like from Marks & Sparks), Fifty quid hard cash and I burn those photo’s of you in the Ledenhosen with the bull whip and send you the negatives?
Your partner in crime
FLOOG
9 Onedia
// Apr 1, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Sy, you get my “you make me laugh” badge. Please come get it on my sidebar. Past recipients include Mrs T. who has gone into hiding as a result of all the paparazzi following her since receive her badge.
10 Sy
// Apr 1, 2008 at 2:34 pm
@Floog – I just received this from Alan:
——————-
My friend Floog,
It made me sad that it had to come to this for me to get what is rightfully mine. i have discussed your proposal with my girlfriend Megan, and we have decided to accept your offer to save taxpayers money on the court case. I must insist that any photos sent to PlayFox do still go ahead, and all royalties are sent directly to me. On your accpetance of this, I will close the courtcase forever.
Megan has also requested you send me the bull whip. Please clean it first.
Yours with a bushy tail,
Alan.
—————
I hope you will meet him on this one so we can save any further embarrasment for either party.
@Onedia – WOOHOO!!!! My first award! I shall download it as soon as I get home from work and add it to the site! I shall also hunt down Mrs T and find out what will happen now with the paparazzi. See if I can make it through this in 1 piece!
11 Jane Turley
// Apr 2, 2008 at 7:54 am
Sy, I just wanted to say;
“HA, HA, HA, BOOM, BOOM!!”
That was a corker!
12 Anca
// Apr 2, 2008 at 8:32 am
Alan, I’m glad you got what you deserved. Enjoy your creme brulee, and I must say, you’re looking great!
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