Before I get to the actual post, I just need to ask a question. It is a serious question, so if anyone has the answer, please put it in the comments section.
Here in Blighty, our news channels follow American politics constantly (because ours is messed up, so we may as well check on how messed up the international competition is). I have seen Hilary Clinton more times then I care to remember of late. What I want to know: What is it with all the pointing and “yeah baby! Me and you!” gesturing that goes on at the end of the speech? Is she choosing the next mortal whose brains she is going to suck out? And Billy Boy does it too. The point, smile and give a “yes. YOU!” nod.
It is the brain sucking thing isn’t it! Please tell me I am not right… At least Obama has the decency to have a cattle of brain sucking victims in a ranch somewhere. He doesn’t go fishing for mortal souls every time he stands on a podium.
You know, I could carry on writing this one as it goes, but I wont. I cant. I wrote the title of the post already in anticipation of the post I planned to write. Ergo, I shall do the planned one.
Ergo?? Geez. Anyway.
Imagine if you were to put a couple of your favourite hobbies together and see what happens. Now imagine that one of your hobbies is holding up shops. The other? The other is that you like to sniff thongs.
They are not exactly hobbies you can do at the same time though are they? Oh of course they are. I myself have 2 hobbies that shouldn’t be done at the same time…but does that stop me? Of course not. I am more then happy to plug in my electric razor to the plug socket and then shave while in the bath. It saves me time. And I am only shaving my face, so it doesn’t touch the water. And with the small exception of those 3 times where it DID fall in the bath…well…I like the twitch I have. When I was single, all the women wanted me because they thought I was winking at them and giving them a cheeky side smile. That along with my amazing sense of humour and personal hygiene record (dodgy odour free for 18 days now!) meant that nothing could ever go wrong!
But enough about me. Lets talk about the panty sniffing shop robber hobbies. (Try saying “panty sniffing shop robber hobbies” fast 3 times. It can be done, but sounds amusing!) Of course they can be done at the same time. What you do it stick the thong on your head, and go and rob a shop. Yes, I know, a thong isn’t exactly a voluminous pair of undies that will cover your head and disguise you. But should that put you off doing it? No it shouldn’t. (I recommend hitting the link if even just to look at the CCTV picture!)
What I love about that news story is the very last line: “The men, believed to be in their 20s, were not armed.” Indeed. Quite literally really, because they are lacking some serious ammo in the brain department. I have to wonder if they were arrested for being high?! Were the thongs clean? Did they steal the thongs from girlfriends or did they hold up a panty shop? What did they wear if they did indeed hold up a panty shop? A nice pair of stripey boxers with a button fly? Or something silly like a balaclava?
Whatever next? Maybe people should rob a place and write their name on the wall. Nothing bad will ever happen with that!
on 
19 responses so far ↓
1 menopausaloldbag (MOB)
// Jun 5, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Really Sy, just because our modern day criminals have a sense of decency and manners by allowing themselves to be easily identified either facially or through leaving a business card of the wall, doesn’t mean they are thick. Surely they are just helping the police with their enquiries and assisting with the crime cleanup rate that has taken a dive over the last 10 years. Today’s youth aren’t all as bad as the papers make them out to be!
2 Mikiye Creations
// Jun 5, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Good Grief!
Wow…now that’s some intelligent thinking!!!
Um, news flash bandits!!!
Eh, never mind, they are clearly idiots…
You just never know…and then you see something like this!!!
When I lived up north the mall I worked in years ago got robbed. They literally ran in, smashed the jewelry cases and ran out hands full!!!
I kid you NOT, the police found the get away car not far from there behind a grocery store…and one of the bandits WALLET with DRIVERS LICENSE and information was in the car!!!!
LOL!!!
That’s pretty bad too!
3 ms picket to you
// Jun 5, 2008 at 11:50 pm
small town east coast USA: man breaks into local business in the middle of the night, wanders around a little, steals paper (or some such thing), leaves. local business he broke into: high tech home security firm with cameras EVERYWHERE. i almost think they should let the guy go just for being so dang stupid. and for stealing, um, paper.
4 don
// Jun 5, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Both Bill and Hilary’s Hoover-like behavior is actually directed somewhat lower than the brain. Their problem is, that as a result of their inexperience with firearms, their aim is lousy.
5 TheMovie Whore
// Jun 6, 2008 at 4:07 am
They once dated the same woman in college. It’s how they met. Now they are picking out groupies together. Some for her. Some for him. Some to share.
6 Sy
// Jun 6, 2008 at 7:17 am
@MOB – I guess you are right. One man’s stupid is another man’s genius. When I look around at the droopy eyed freaks wandering about the town I live in, and wonder how they even tie their shoelaces, I never realised they are the future!
@Mikiye – He left his wallet? See that is just bad luck. He was probably clearing out all the oldreceipts from his wallet before “the job” and got all confused and got home to find he had a pocket full of receipts.
@Ms Picket – That’s awesomely funny! What an idiot!! When did it happen? I have to read that one!! It is sad the the gene pool is so watered down. I mean, OK, anyone can have sex, but stupid people just shouldn’t be allowed to!! There has to be a law against this. And I will choose who can and cant…just so I get to!
@Don – You know that when the job is done, they both enjoy a tasty cigar!
@Jim – I have this image of some poor sap having their brains eaten by them at the same time…is it wrong that it is working for me?
7 The Mom Bomb
// Jun 6, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Note to self: Never commit (un)armed robbery while wearing butt-floss over one’s face. Thanks for the tip.
And if you think we’ve seen the last of the Clintons now that Obama has clinched the Democratic nomination, think again. They’re like a bad case of herpes: They keep coming back.
8 Rose
// Jun 7, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Oh My. I’m at a loss for words. That is just too funny.
9 Kelly
// Jun 7, 2008 at 10:09 pm
When I worked at Wal-Mart, we caaught a dude sniffing women’s panties in the lingerie section. One hand holding the panties. The other rubbing his meat log. We called the cops but he ran out of the store before they came (and before he came
)
What I don’t get is…. how did he benefit from smelling unused panties?
10 Mrs T
// Jun 8, 2008 at 9:55 am
Yeah, yeah, I bet the razor did “fall” into the bath. Right. You no good lousy pervert you – just tryin’ to get a cheap thrill weren’t you or perhaps you were having a “close shave”??What, Immac no good enough for you eh? (Still last time I tried it I got it (immac) on my hair (on my head) ..don’t know how but I did… and my hair started to fall out…. It’s a long story..but let’s just say I can be very creative in the bath. Yeah, and that blasted rubber duck gets everywhere too….
Boy, those geezers didn’t have much imagination did they? It says one was wearing a blue thong and the other green. How original is that? I mean .. having a nice pink fluffy one with feathers and sequins would have been way more stylish. A little ticklish perhaps but you know I think that would have added to the pleasure of “The Job”.
Loved Kelly’s story. Reminds me of years ago when we lived in a less classy area and my neighbour’s knickers kept being stolen off her washing line in the middle of the night. Strangely enough mine never were…… Poor, poor Mrs T no one likes her knickers…..
11 Sy
// Jun 8, 2008 at 11:19 pm
@MomBomb – You are welcome! The site aims to help it’s readers in any way possible. And if it stops someone appearing on “worlds dumbest criminals” then I am glad to help! Although I do think every reader i have is a lot higher up the gene pool then those guys!!
@Rose – Funny…absolutely. The fact they thought they could get away with it…scary as all hell!
@Kelly – So you worked on one of those stores that had the “no trying on the underwear before purchasing” thing? Maybe the guy liked the smell of new clothes and it reeeeeally just worked for him!
@Strange Lady (aka Mrs T) – immac makes me itch! I cant ever use that again! Oh…bugger…I mean that I heard that it can itch with the stubble. Yeah that is what I heard. Chantelle (my rubber duck) is quite well trained in the art of bathtime playtime. She never gets lost.
pink fluffy one maybe, but honestly? If the studs arent on the inside…it isnt worth wearing.
Maybe they didnt steal your delicate undies because they were never in to skydiving??
12 Mrs T
// Jun 9, 2008 at 11:05 am
Mrs T lips wobble….Is Master Sy being mean to the delightful Mrs T? Her knickers used for sky diving??
Mrs feels tears welling up in her eyes… and running down her face…. dribble seeping out the corner of her mouth and the snot beginning to run down her nose..over her wobbling lip and down her chin….
Oh poor Mrs T, Master Sy sooo cruel…..
13 GaryJay
// Jun 12, 2008 at 6:57 pm
they live amongst us—-scary aint it. As for Hillary??—them fool Democrats will no doubt put her on the ticket—-some people won’t get it til they see it in black and white.
14 Sy
// Jun 12, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Ohhh Mrs T. I would not be so harsh. It was a slip of the keyboard. Honest!!
I am with you GaryJay. It is always sad that whatever happens there is a big influence over here. But then, who would you say was the best of the bunch for both parties? Who gets your vote?
15 Mrs T
// Jun 12, 2008 at 10:22 pm
LIAR !!!
16 Sy
// Jun 12, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Mrs T. How could you say that. Mr Sy is being most honest with you.
17 Mrs T
// Jun 12, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Mr Sy gonna get his arse whipped!
18 Sy
// Jun 12, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Mrs T’s wishful thinking is just that.
19 Mrs T
// Jun 12, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Mrs T feels her lip wobble again…… she’ll have to get out her Bond calender again as compensation….
Oh Good Lord… It’s June and it’s the centre spread….
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