The Wheel is Turning, but the Hamster is Dead header image 2

Just don’t order the leg.

July 30th, 2008 · 14 Comments

Have any of you got a guinea pig?  Or maybe two?  Or maybe the two you did have, got their freak on, and now you have 10. 

You know what?  It doesn’t matter.  Well, not until they reach puberty and go out buying dresses for lunch with friends. 

Just the other day I took Papa and Bissau out for lunch because I heard of a place where they all go to meet and all dress up.  Then they all take part in competitions.  How fast can they run, who is the biggest, tallest.  And then I got there and realised that his was no ordinary get together. 

After entering Papa and Bissau in to every competition, I watched as they stomped on the competition.  My big fat healthy guinea pigs were the toast of the competition… and then we got to the last contest.  When I read the “How good do they taste” round, I figured that it meant something along the lines of what kind of palate do they have?  What range of foods do they enjoy? 

Boy was I wrong.  This “Get together” just so happened to be the third annual Festival of the Guinea Pig in Huacho, Peru.  Naturally. 

Yes, this little festival is all about the lucky guinea pigs at the festival, who after a good day of showing the crowd their wares, some escape with the indignity of being turned into kings, miners and Peruvian peasants for the day, and the rest?  Well, they get munched.  And when I say munched, I don’t mean they feel hungry and have the munchies.  Yes, they end up on a plate.  Delicious.

In case you are wondering, or have a litter, a cleaver and an unhealthy need to cut up your pets and cook them, it is a cross between rabbit and dark chicken meat.  I recommend against doing this though.  Nothing ever tastes quite right when you do it yourself!

I think Papa and Bisau ran away when they found out about the last contest.  On my way to the food tent to get myself a 1/2lb Guinea Burger with a side of Fur-ies, I did hear a muffled squeek of “OH GOD NOOOO!” which sounded like one of them in the tent cleverly named “The Chop Shop”.  I think that tent sold knives, fur and blood.  Well, that was all I could see in there anyway.  Maybe Papa and Bissau went in there to get some items for their journey and found it was going to cost more then they thought?

Either way, I miss them.  I got a real taste for those burgers, and even bought the buns.

I know you are curious, so HERE is the news story.

© 2008, Sy. All rights reserved.


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14 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Mrs TNo Gravatar // Jul 30, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    I kinda think the poor little fellas should be “dressed” on the plate not before…

  • 2 Mikiye CreationsNo Gravatar // Jul 30, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    I thought this was just another random, creative and strangely bazaar story….

    I never had one as a pet but it is still creepy to me.
    I know it’s all cultural….but it’s still CREEPY to me!

  • 3 Bree AhmedNo Gravatar // Aug 1, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    I ditto M.C.. Ewwwww ! That sounds terrible. I have a little green chick. I can’t imagine eating your own pet !

  • 4 QelqothNo Gravatar // Aug 2, 2008 at 4:58 pm

    Stop your bloody moaning people.

    I bet they taste great with BBQ sauce.

  • 5 Mrs TNo Gravatar // Aug 2, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    Mmm, Mmm BBQ sauce….

    I think I’ll relate a story here; one day during the war (that’s WWII) my mother came home from school to find her pet bunny rabbit served up for dinner. Needless to say she couldn’t stomach it.

    (It was a long eared rabbit and the ears were very tough.)

    Where needs must I suppose. (However, I don’t recall her saying that they dressed it up as Winston Churchill beforehand….)

  • 6 Georgie BNo Gravatar // Aug 3, 2008 at 1:41 am


    Very odd.

    I like that in a blog.

  • 7 Georgie BNo Gravatar // Aug 3, 2008 at 1:42 am

    Sorry, misspelled my blog address.

    Here is the corrected version.

  • 8 SyNo Gravatar // Aug 4, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    @Bree – You have a green chick?? Green? What do you feed it! Too much lime? Hey, you never know…the colour may make it tastier. I recommend not finding out though!!

    @Mrs T – If you are going to “dress” them in salad…we need to talk. I prefer my guinea pigs with chips. None of the green stuff thankyouverymuch. I think Qelqoth has the idea. BBQ sauce would tender them up a bit too!

    @Georgie B – Odd? This is perfectly normal! :o) And welcome!

  • 9 Bree AhmedNo Gravatar // Aug 5, 2008 at 10:10 am

    Haha. No. I don’t feed it lime. Ooh. Come to think of it, I have been feeding him bits of my lemon tart cake. Could that be it ? :P
    But nah, we get these colorful chicks here in Pakistan. Dyed in different rainbow colors when they’re a couple of days old.

    I had yellow, fuschia and green colored chicks. Only my green one survived. Hence, we had to name him Hulk. :P Original huh ? Lol. Maybe I’ll mail you his picture.

    How’s your daughter doing ?!

  • 10 SyNo Gravatar // Aug 5, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    They dye the chicks at birth? So when you buy them, do they give you a tub of touch up paint? You know, in case they scratch their new look? And can you change them as you go along? Or for insurance purposes do you say “No, my chick is green. But I have just painted it red, so please update my insurance paperwork”? I am liking the name. “Hulk the Chick”. It has a ring to it. Is it an angry little thing?
    I have to say, I am curious to see this green chick of yours! Drop me a photo to and maybe he will become internationally famous on this blog!
    My daughter is doing great! Noisy little thing. Takes after her dad on that one I am afraid. I am hoping she gets her Mum’s brains and looks though. Still, it is early days and maybe a persoanlity transplant can take place should she be “too” like me!!

  • 11 Bree AhmedNo Gravatar // Aug 6, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    You wish ! :P These chicks are for Rs.5 only, and thats like a couple of cents/pennies. Even lesser ! But you know, since he is almost two and a half months old, he’s losing most of the green feathers and is growing lots of white wings. I was just suggesting to my sister that maybe we can dye it again. :D I’ll give it a paint job and mail you the new results.

  • 12 Bree AhmedNo Gravatar // Aug 6, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Angry ? Yessss. I don’t know what I’ll do with him when he grows any bigger. But he’s not that bad you know. Like right now, he’s being and angel and sleeping under my foot that’s dangling just a couple of inches from the floor. Ooh. It’s weird, he’s got a foot fettish. He LOVES sleeping near everybody’s feet. Maybe ’cause they’re warm ? Even hands. Inside shirts. Who knows what he’s thinking.. I’ll Google that. Otherwise, he’s got a thing for pecking everything that’s black ! Like my nose pin. And he almost pecked my eye out the other day. And oh oh.. he loves pecking at the moles on my feet and arms, he thinks they’re food. Weird huh ?

  • 13 SyNo Gravatar // Aug 7, 2008 at 12:06 am

    You have to give him a paint job! What will all his friends at school say when they are all green, yellow, red, purple etc and he has white spots. Dont do it to the poor little guy Bree. You need to make sure he is painted!! Or even give him a brush and let him paint himself!

    I have worries about his eating habits though. He eats feet??? Thats not right. He needs to eat something heartier. Maybe a nice pack of crisps. Or a steak or something.

    Zorro, our parrot is much like that. He will eat anything…especially me. He is not my biggest fan lets just say! Actually, there is a post a while back which tells the story of him escaping when it is just him and me in the house.

  • 14 Bree AhmedNo Gravatar // Aug 7, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    Oh Hulk loves the cheese and lettuce in my McRoyale. He steals it each time. Zorro ? Do you have pictures ? Want to see. :D I’ll search for that blog post or eventually stumble upon it. AND I mailed you the pictures !

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