According to a psychologist who clearly needs to be the one laying down and not the one with the notepad drawing pictures of cats while repeating the words “…and why do you think that is?”, British children should study magic at school.
This is because it can help boost childrens self confidence. Says a man called Dick Wiseman.
Wise man indeed!
I am assuming it builds self confidence because as soon as someone calls you a thicky, you turn them in to a rabid ant with a hankering for cheese, thus making you feel better. Wars will be fought with magic wands, which when a bunch of grown men wanting to kill the other bunch of grown men grab their magic wands and start waving them at each other…well…it is just an uncomfortable thought for me. Who actually thought the way wars are fought now may actually be the better way!
So to test this theory, they sent some kids to magic school. In this “magic school”, they learnt how to repair a rope cut in half, and a card trick. I am sure that when leaving school and entering the real world that this will come in very very handy indeed.
I am absolutely 100% certain that when Mr (or Mrs/Miss/Ms/Dr/Master coz you know…I don’t want to come across sexist or bias or anything) Job Interviewer dude(ette?) says the words “So tell me Mr Mouse. Why do you think you are the right person for the job?”, that you leaning over and cutting his tie in half and then taking a pack of cards out and saying “Find the other half of your tie! The ace of spades!” and you then break in to an air guitar rendition of Ace of Spades and acting like Lemmy from Motorhead is going to be held against you.
Sorry. I know this seems a bit off, and children do need to build self confidence. But magic at school? It only leads to a future where the news reader (who is wearing a clown outfit and making a puppy with bendy balloons) reads out:
“…and in other news, Great Britain is now knows as The Great Symondo”
This will be because the kids now have no idea what the square root of a turnip is, but boy can they make a mean balloon animal.
And when they get out of the “Harry Potter” stage and decide to get married, instead of reading their vows, they will take the wedding rings, turn to the audience and do the magic rings trick.
And just what the hell will happen the first night in the marital bed? “oh it was magical. He started by sawing me in half with a plastic hacksaw and then we played snap!”
Granted, this vision of the future sounds like a giggle. I am just not seeing it as the way forward as we will disappear off of the planet in a generation. My idea of a post apocalypse world does not include a ghost town where instead of a tumbleweed rolling on by, a balloon giraffe slowly creeps along the road in the breeze.
Should you feel the need, you can read about the whole magic school thing HERE.
20 responses so far ↓
1 The Movie Whore
// Sep 15, 2008 at 4:33 pm
And I just read some guy is teaching a Jedi class somewhere in the world. Shit just keeps getting weirder.
2 Sy
// Sep 15, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I hear ya Jim! I had read about that and considered doing a post on it…but how do you top insanity like that? Maybe with this:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/15/innocent_drinks/
3 Mrs T
// Sep 15, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Are you kidding?? I wanna join that Jedi class! My dream come true…..
4 The Movie Whore
// Sep 16, 2008 at 12:44 am
For more on Jedi Training click here.
http://www.rustylime.com/show_article.php?id=2596
And Sy that is damn funny.
5 darri
// Sep 16, 2008 at 4:13 am
I must confess I agree with the psychologist. It is extraordinarily important that children feel good about being stupid and useless; that’s how they grow up to be well adjusted adults.
6 Sarah
// Sep 17, 2008 at 12:27 am
Are we talking “magic” here or actual magick? Because while I think it would be absolutely wonderful for kids to learn a few simple card tricks (“Stump your parents! Impress girls! Amaze your friends!”), giving insecure brats the ability to turn their playground pals into piles of smoking ash might not be the best idea.
On the other hand, guys like John Constantine and The Ghostbusters would make a killing (haha) as spiritual exterminators.
7 Tamera
// Sep 17, 2008 at 3:47 am
Uh oh….I don’t know the square root of a turnip either…..*scratching head*.
8 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 7:03 am
@All – Hmmm. Interesting. Well, you all seem to be up for a little bit of this “magic”, so I think we should get this started! Party at my place. Bring an ingredient. I will fire up the “Cauldren 5000″ (the gas powered puppy! No expense spared!) at around 1pm. If someone could bring the following:
- Eye of toad
- Bag of cockroaches
- Beer
I think at this point we can make the old favourite. Oh, and you will all be turned in to puppies. The first one to pee on the floor sleeps outside that night.
@Tamera – Oh dear. The answer is “root”. I hope that helps in the future. I am also happy to help pay for extra tutoring lessons. I fear that the “Vegetable Math” is not being taken seriously enough in the world and I need to spread the word!
@Sarah – Welcome! I am going for the actual magic…although sadly I think it was just card tricks and sawing your younger brother in half with a spoon type magic.
9 Mrs T
// Sep 17, 2008 at 9:30 am
I believe I have some cockroaches in my fridge Master Sy.
I also have them in the chilli con carne but please don’t tell my children; it gives me a thrill to watch their little faces…..
10 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 9:41 am
Do you add them in after it is cooked so they see the food moving, or are you more generous and sautee them before serving?
11 Mrs T
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:17 am
I add them whilst I’m cooking the chilli…. a little simmering (and a long painful death) adds to the flavour. However, when I’m doing bean salad I just lightly sautee them otherwise they can be a bit hard on the teeth… but the kids just love them raw with salad; I told ‘em they were black olives!
12 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:22 am
I think it is a tribute to your mothering skills that they dont question the reason why the olive has legs and a twitch!
13 10 Questions with Sy of The Wheel is Turning, but the Hamster is Dead // Sep 17, 2008 at 12:03 pm
[...] 2. Link us to one post from your blog that best defines who you are. It’s a Kind of Magic. Possibly of the Mushroom Kind. [...]
14 alltimeprint
// Sep 18, 2008 at 8:36 am
Hi,
I read you, some guys are teaching a class somewhere in the world. Shit just keeps getting weirder,pretty information.
15 app
// Sep 23, 2008 at 1:19 pm
The idea of teaching kids magic (the slight of hand type) is both good & bad, depending on how far one wants to go with it.
My older brother was a “hobby magician” at a young age, and spent a great deal of time reading how all the great tricks were done and even putting on shows for the family. (yes, he sawed me in half with a cardboard saw covered in aluminum foil)
My dad encouraged this, and when I became interested in getting some attention as the “great magician” too, I learned a few card tricks to show my dad.
As a young child, I did not enjoy learning from my dad, the mathematical concepts behind certain card tricks, so there was no fun or confidence boosting there. (I kind of sucked at any math that was many light years over my head…never try to teach your kids college level math when they are only 6 years old)
In later years, having a phd in psychology lead him to explain all the concepts of mental trickery, how they work, and why.
The rest of it took the fun out of it, even as an adult. There is no fun in watching a trick that others wonder how it was done and look on with amazement, and you are bored by it because you know how it was done. It took all the magic out of magic, for me.
And the whole thing could all backfire if you teach all kids this stuff in school… you could end up with a bunch of young criminals that can steal your wallet while pulling a quarter out of your ear.
16 Sy
// Sep 24, 2008 at 8:34 am
An interesting point. Would we be teaching them to be pickpockets! At the end of the day, no matter how good “school” life is, if homelife is encouraging you to steal, then it will end up being used for bad things. And I am with you on the math thing. I have trouble with age 6 math now! Although my formula for why 8+3 is 59 is pretty solid as far as I am concerned. Just the rest of the world holding back the genius by not accepting it!
So would you encourage your kids to do it?
17 app
// Sep 25, 2008 at 9:01 pm
My daughter is 22 years old, and I still encourage her to do anything she shows an interest in, as long as it isn’t harmful, stupid, and won’t bring about the end of the world during my lifetime.
I think the best toys for kids go beyond the boundaries of dolls and toy cars. Children should have things that encourage them to ask questions and seek answers (truth) and make them learn to think. They should be free to explore their world and discover its wonders, and given the tools & opportunity to express themselves, creatively.
When she showed an interest in rock collecting, I went out and bought her a magnifying glass to take a closer look at what she was collecting, along with a bunch of books on rocks, minerals, geology, etc.
When she showed an interest in photography, a camera of her own, more books, and software for photo manipulation (she is quite a good culinary photographer and contributes photos for one of my websites).
Anything she got into I pushed her to explore it in more depth.
If she had shown an interest in slight of hand magic I would have encouraged that too, without spoiling it for her.
Today she is showing an interest in nutrition…so I am sending her links to university course lecture videos. (UC Berkeley website has a lot of good free stuff. Be sure to check out previous years from the dropdown menu on the top right)
She turned out to be a highly intelligent, sensible, responsible, mature young lady, capable of thinking for herself and making wise decisions, and I am very proud of her.
18 Sy
// Sep 27, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Although I am a teccie, I have gadgets galore and love technology (in the oohh..how cool, and not any weird squidgy way), I have an issue with it. When I was a kid I loved going out and just getting mucky. I didnt have a the Internet, a PC (well, an Amstrad CPC464…yeah…) or a gmaes console (well, one of those weird ones with the paddles and only 3 games which were football, tennis and squash). Today kids dont want to learn new things as much as we did because of the eye candy of PC games and online social networking sites. Granted, the PC and Internet has made me a lot of “online” friends, and also some real life friends, but if a child wants to do something different, as your daughter has, then absolutely. Supporting her 100% is always the way forward.
19 Linda
// Oct 4, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Strange stuff…but sounds a bit like fun being a jedi.
20 Settor32
// Oct 11, 2009 at 1:05 am
Totally what God has been speaking to me today. ,
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