So when I say I know a lot about art, I think you can safely read in to this comment with the words “He knows shag all”. And you know…you would be right.
My favourite artist is Salvador Dali. I love the stuff he has done. And by that, I mean the “art” and not the “dodgy other antics” he may have done in life. I have a Dali painting sitting on the wall in my kitchen for instance. It is the “Apparition of fruit dish on beach”. This is because I don’t have a sandy beach that close to where I live, and I don’t eat fruit, so there is no fruit in my kitchen.
But enough about the stuff I like. Lets talk about this “art” which I read about recently.
“Avante garde artist Andy Savage” I should look up what “Avante Garde” means, but I am pretty sure it means “Self titled “artist” with no imagination who probably claims unemployment benefit, but should really work in DIY) created a “Masterpiece”. Except when I say “Masterpiece”, I mean “huh?!”
I will try to explain with as much detail as I can what his masterpiece is.
He wired in 2 light switches. Two white run of the mill “go to your DIY store and buy the cheapest white light switch that you can” type switches. In fact he admits it cost £2.50 to create and four months in the planning.
FOUR MONTHS? And on the 120th day Andy Savage did look back on his work and turn on a light and realise he forgot to turn the power back on.
You gotta be kidding me. This is art? Oh…I should mention that the light switches are in 2 different positions. One is higher up than the other…and the higher up one controls downstairs and the lower controls upstairs. Get it? Clever! Genius! No one will ever be able to recreate such a feat!
Well in that case, I have “art” in my house. I have a light switch which has three (count em..1..2..3) switches which control upstairs, downstairs and outside the front door. Unlike this dude who called his “work” by the imaginatively titled “Switches”, I have called mine “Useful thing on the wall that helps me see in the dark”. My other name for it was going to be “Alternative Carrots” but I decided against it.
But screw it. If he can get away with it, and sadly, some idiot is going to pay him money for it, then I am getting in on the act.
I would like to offer for your perusal (and hard earned cash) the recent collection in the “Sy Works”. Yeah, that sounds a little sci-fi, but I can assure you. It isn’t. So. On with the show.
My first piece is alled “You are a mug”.
This lovely piece came to me with an egg. An Easter egg. Genius! It took me a long time to decide on the cost for this item, but have agreed on £1,000,000.08
The 8p is to recover costs for electricity in creating this art piece and the many seconds it took to take it out of the cupboard and take a single photo.
My second piece is called “Do I look like I want my damn photo taken?”
on 
14 responses so far ↓
1 Mrs T
// Sep 17, 2008 at 9:26 am
Brillant Master Sy! And Miss Sy looks likes she knows a thing or two about the world; possibly inherited from her father?? Now about that Andy Savage guy..sounds like he should be savaged… possibly with a large pair of pliers and some fusewire…
Personally, I’m waiting for his next piece of work. I’m optimistic that it will be called;
“Man with two fingers in plug socket.”
2 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 9:38 am
I am hoping that he licks the plug socket. It is going to leave him with a comedic face!
Yes Miss Sy is indeed a clever little pumpkin. She may be 8 weeks old now, but she is wise in the ways of the world.
Right. Do you want to hold him while I get the pliers and fusewire on the go, or is it your turn this time to do the damage?
3 Mrs T
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:12 am
I think it would be so much more fun if Mrs T did the damage…..I have a way with pliers which only comes with experience… (and a husband who is crap at DIY)
4 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:14 am
Well then! Get involved! I will get the electrical tape and camcorder!
5 Mrs T
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:19 am
Ooo..is this what they call a “Happy Slapping”??
6 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:21 am
Well I would be happy to slap him after making that abomination!
7 Georgie B
// Sep 17, 2008 at 11:48 am
You know, in the States we have government organizations that give out grants for cultural works of the like created by Mr. Savage. “Excellent” use of our tax dollars you might say.
As for the picture of the young ‘un, she looks she’s ready to launch off into a verbal attack on you.
Way to go dad, already got her disliking the paparazzi. Always important when you grow up to be famous that dislike the paparazzi.
Seriously, nice looking kid you got there.
8 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 11:56 am
It is amazing isnt it. You pay tax, they raise taxes…and you see someone wire a light switch. Probably learnt to wire it using your tax money too! It is pretty shocking really. I dont know a single person who has said “Wow! That is great!” as they sup on their martini.
Yeah she wasnt happy when I took that photo! That is her more grumpy look. I should really post the ones of her a lot happier! She looks way cuter! But yeah, too many photos and she gets a little peeved with us! I will have her breaking pap camera’s in no time at all because she will be internationally famous…for good reasons…when she is older!
9 Freelance Guru
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Ah my Sy,
Is there no start to your genius?
Thanks for putting the RSS Feed back to full again by the way. For a moment there I almost had to stop reading you.
10 Sy
// Sep 17, 2008 at 10:10 pm
My friend, there is no limit to my genius. It is an amount that is not yet possible to be measured…because it is so small!
Yeah the RSS feed died during a WordPress upgrade (I think…) as I never tinkered with it and then noticed that I got one which wasnt right and checked it, and there we are!!!
11 Georgie B
// Sep 19, 2008 at 1:57 am
Thanks for visiting my blog.
The banter made for a fascinatingly light-hearted way to top off an otherwise dreary day.
Maybe you can expound on the topic we were discussing on a future post someday.
12 Sy
// Sep 19, 2008 at 11:15 am
It is just a shame about the pesky time difference as I was writing the replys at midnight! But I agree. It was mucho fun!
As for subject content, I can more then see it appearing in a post at some point in the near future!
13 LoveHugs a.k.a. cyndi
// Sep 28, 2008 at 6:41 pm
GeorgieB, me thinks you are exactly right about the little sweetie being ready to launch attack – verbal or otherwise – on our Sy. I’ve seen that look before, in my own daughter’s eyes and I’ve mistaken it for something innocent, I mean, how calculating can an infant be? It took only 17 years to figure out that they are born with the instinct to create havoc in our lives on a daily basis. And they communicate with each other starting from infantdom, I do not know how but they do, and they give each other messages about the adults and the actions of each one to keep track of us. They conspire to overtake the world and have almost succeeded. I don’t think the adults have much hope left at this point. I see now that the infants have mutated babies with mind-sucking eyes thereby turning us into mindless blobs ready to be controlled and manipulated by the teenage population.
OMG~!!!
(being taken away by a gang of teens with mouth and fingers gagged, they’ve thrown a blanket over my head so I can’t see where they’re taking me! help! I will send out a signal unless they suck my mind out of my head first.. farewell adults!)
do you think i’ve had too much coffee this morning? hmmmm…
14 Sy
// Sep 28, 2008 at 10:04 pm
There is such a thing as “too much coffee”??? Never! The more the merrier in my eyes. Of course, I say that to most things. Alcohol, money, lashings of the whip. Eeeeverything. But yes, as for Shawnee…she is VERY calculating. She is 2 months old and has already worked out the secret to having Dad wrapped around her finger!
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