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As inspirational as a kick in the nuts.

October 24th, 2008 · 2 Comments

According to the Crowne Plaza hotel chain, who should spend more time making sure that people have a great stay and less time asking people to fill in polls; the most inspirational time of the day is 10:04pm. 

I started to think about ideas for a great post about 10ish, and all I came up with was a few empty beer cans.  And no ideas. 

So is this 10:04pm thing time zone specific because I am quietly confident that at 10:04pm in a hotel room around the world in the Crowne Plaza hotels that the average guest (when I say average guest, I mean “Male on his own on company business and an expense account”) will be watching pay per view porn.  He is not thinking of inspirational things for work or home. 

I do know that when I was away on business and staying in a hotel, at 10:04pm at night I found myself trying not to listen to the overactive vocal chords of the young (and sometimes scarily older when I saw them the next morning) lady who has been trying her best to please the gentleman she was with by screaming the damn place down.  I always hated that.  I have no urge to listen to people in the room next to me banging the hell out of the wall and ruining the bed for the next occupants. 

But it seems that if you are in a hotel room with a prostitute/secretary/bit on the side that you automatically start your own rodeo.

There are exceptions to this rule though.  Sometimes you can be a 13 year old kid who is being mentally scarred by the couple who live next door.  The worst thing I could see was the young children being taken away for the weekend by the grandparents.  This meant one thing.  Lock all of your windows and earplugs at the ready.

They were a little “active” when the kids weren’t there.  But by active, I mean that they would open all the windows, leave all the lights on and then they would bring their best game to the table.  Sadly their best game was to be so freakin loud that I was almost put off of sex before I started!  What was he doing in there?  Killing her?  As I got older and a little wiser to these things, I found that I had weird thoughts running through my head.  Things like:

-  Just where were they hiding the gimp that the kids couldn’t find him?

-  Why did they buy lots of oranges and rubber bands?  Was he chewing through them too quickly?

-  Why did she always choke and cough just after he shouted (I am assuming from another room?) “I’m coming!”?  Was she sneaking chocolate while he was out of the room and choking on it as he was calling saying he was coming back through eating it too quickly?  I don’t know…but something wasn’t right.  Maybe they were playing hide and seek…but that didn’t make sense as before that they were all noisy.  Maybe he was…..oohhhhh……yeeeeah.  OK, lets leave this bit here.  I get it now.

But back to the survey before I wet the bed for a month again through thinking of that stuff…

In the same “poll”, they mention that the least creative time of the day is at 4:33pm.  Never.  At 4:33 when I worked a 9-5 job, I was always seeking inspirational ideas as to how I can escape early.  Another Dr’s appointment?  Dentist appointment?   Trip to the “clinic” to get some stuff sorted out?  So many possibilities.  And I mean reasons to go home early and not why I was at the clinic. 

But the biggest flaw in the poll was “Taking a shower is the most popular way of getting your creative juices flowing”.

Yes.  Creative Juices.  Obviously. 

 

Note:  In slightly more serious news, I am off shift at the moment, and my ISP gets changed inside of the next week, so there may be a delay in the creation of the next post if things go a little bit bad on the changeover.   You can wish me luck, but I prefer money.

© 2008, Sy. All rights reserved.

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2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 crseNo Gravatar // Oct 24, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Im more than slightly embarrassed that Im 38 and it still took me three reads to get the choke/cough thing. (turning red). This took place in England? Im completely changing the way I think about your country.

  • 2 SyNo Gravatar // Oct 24, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    Three attempts? That’s shocking I tell you!! But yeah, us English people rule!

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