There are some jobs I will never do. Elephant Condom Putter on’er is one example. Another is be a bodyguard for any of the British Royal Family (coz I wouldn’t want to waste my blood) and yet another is a “Stlye Guru”. Hell, I don’t even want to do IT like I do now. I only do it because it is one of the two things I am good at in life (answers in the comments section if you think you know what the other is), and because the internet connection at work would get bored if I was not there.
I will never understand “Style Guru’s”. Who decides that they are a “guru”? Probably no one. Or some blind dude once said to them “My golly. You look splendid today!”. And they took him seriously and didn’t realise he was blind and talking to a sparrow he heard fly past.
Gok Wang. Stupid Name, Stupid Idiot.
Sy. Better Glasses, Shaved Head, Great Guy.
My style is the “I am married. As long as my wife likes me, that is all that is important to me” style. The one where I don’t spend a fortune on Man Makeup, hair gel and a pair of glasses which probably just have plain glass in them but it is all about accentuating their best feature. Which is not looking at the rest of their face. I do not need (nor ever wish to try) the Back, Crack and Sack wax and I see more people dressed like me then I do the self proclaimed guru’s on TV, in magazines and anywhere else that they infest the earth.
I should be on TV. And I mean shows other then the ones I have been on such as ”UK’s Worst Crimes” or “Police! Camera! Action!” where you can see some of my mad driving skills while throwing Class A drugs out of the window. But as a “Stlye Guru” I could walk up to strangers and say “Hey. Nice coat! Did you get it from your standard run of the mill high street chain per chance?” and then give them £200 for being normal. Show over. Move on to better things in life.
OK, so I do agree that some people could dress better(as could I on occassion!). But they are comfortable. And they have been for years. So why do they now want to go on TV in front of the people who watch the show who just have nothing in the world better to do and plan their life around this show and stand there naked while some women rip up their clothes. What do they do next?? Go home naked as their clothes are now in tatters?? How does that part work?! If it is not bad enough the nation is looking at your jiggly’s, now you get done for indecent exposure as they destroyed your clothes!
What bothers me more is that I know about these shows through hearing conversation. Because I am a listener. I have never even seen this crap yet I can write a post about it because people have spent too much time talking about it.
Today I am wearing a pair of jeans. Blue jeans at that. Black socks with no holes (apart from the huge ones at the top which I stick my feet in to. A black T-Shirt that has a logo on the front which reads “No Pads, No Helmets, Just Balls.” This is of course a rugby slogan. Not my coming out parade.
So that is Jeans and a Tee then. Should I go in front of a guru? Will I come out of it the other side wearing a dress and holding a manbag? You are never gonna find out!
14 responses so far ↓
1 Tamera
// Mar 1, 2008 at 4:12 am
You are looking just as cool as that Gok guy, or whatever his name is….My two sons are very fashionable. They are mod, and “in”..and, the mod is stylish jeans, and t-shirts with just the right logo…so, there! ha!
Ooo..Oooo *raising hand*…I know what else you are good at. Drinking all of the tequila and vodka I bring along to your place! Geesh. you are a whipper-snapper guzzler with a wedgie.
2 Rose
// Mar 1, 2008 at 8:03 am
I’m not much in style either. ( I don’t wear clothes from the 80′s) , but I wear what’s comfortable. Like you I’m married and the only one I need to impress is him and he is so easy to please. He’s happy when I’m dressed in Cotton PJ’s, but more happy when I wear nothing at all. lol
3 FLOOG
// Mar 1, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Sy, jeans, Tee shirt… and those glasses…. my god you need a fashion police make-over. I’ve signed you up as a guest on a new show featuring style guru Wayne Kerr called:
‘MAN IN A KAFTAN’.
You should get a call any day now!
Crack and Back’s are fine, it’s when they get to the SACK…… oooooh chiwauwau
Bloody good post by the way, but I’m not sure about that hair!!!!
4 Sy
// Mar 1, 2008 at 5:23 pm
@Tamera – I am way cooler then that Gok guy. My name is cooler, I speak like a man and not a gerbil. AND my drinking abilities are legendary. It is true! If I tell myself how impressive I am, I 100% ALWAYS agree! But you get a gold star for being right.
@Rose – I agree with your hubby. Seeing my wife in her birthday suit always takes me to a happy place! Fashion Smashion. It’s allll about the nudity some days with me.
@Floog – Oohh…that Wayne Kerr dude is harsh. A real…well..as his name suggests. I do think I would look good in Kaftan though. Thats a city with great weather all year round and not a dressing style right? No man should have there sack…no…I cannot complete that line. My jeans are a little tight today and I can’t cross my legs.
And no knocking the hair! That saves me ages in the morning getting ready when I have it shaved! And my head is white as I had just had it shaved last summer and my wife decided I needed to make sure I didn’t get sunburnt. So smothered my head until it was white. Hell, a cap would have been easier! But that is my wife. And one of the reasons I love her so much. She makes me look stupid in the name of having a laugh at my expense.
5 Tamera
// Mar 1, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Awww. So sweet she looks after you like that (kudos to her choice of methods..lol)
Is not marriage just awesome in that way??? I think so, being able to dress in comfort! Not having to impress anyone. Such stress!
6 Sy
// Mar 1, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Yup. If you can get it, that kind of marriage is by way the best! We are like a couple of children pretty much most of the time. Growing up is for adults! Our poor kid!
She didn’t actually tell me my head was white until a while later when she couldn’t stop giggling and then went for her camera! Thus my “oh goodie…a camera” face in the picture!
7 kelly
// Mar 1, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I always look gorgeous so I never have to put on the backcrack cream and dingus gel. I do, however, enjoy putting pasties on me man nips and chasing the elderly in old folk’s homes. Just a hobby.
Am I a freak?
8 Sy
// Mar 1, 2008 at 11:56 pm
To some, yes a freak. To the rest of us normal people, hell no. You are just one of the lads!
9 Tamera
// Mar 2, 2008 at 12:35 am
Rofl, Kelly!
10 don
// Mar 2, 2008 at 3:40 am
Man, you look good (in a purely hetro-sort of way.)
The problem is location. Back when I lived in California, everyone thought I was a slob. Now that I live Idaho, the fact that I have both pant legs makes me a fashion plate.
11 Sy
// Mar 2, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Don…I have seen those images of you hugging a dude in your post. You are sure that was a hetro comment right? Coz you are a goodlooking man…and I should stop as my wife reads this…
12 Jane Turley
// Mar 3, 2008 at 12:44 am
Are you sure you ain’t got any man boobs Sy? ‘Cos I’m sure Trinny and Suzannah could find you a really nice bra…
By the way 10/10 for managing to look hard with suncream on your head…
13 Sy
// Mar 3, 2008 at 1:20 am
I have a quite super set of pec’s you know! But I use firming lotion on them so no need for a bra. Gravity will not take over yet. I am in my prime!
Yeeeah. You just cannot look hard with suncream on your head. That was a very amusing day though. 2 people in the hot sun drinking and undercooking food on the BBQ doing things like that to each other. I have Gb’s of photos of us generally messing about! Everyday is Christmas in this relationship.
14 The last of the idiots. // Jul 3, 2008 at 8:50 pm
[...] WAAAAY back a very long time ago, when this site was young, and had the occasional funny post, unlike the mash that I churn out these days in the name of trying to be funny, I wrote a post where I mentioned I had an issue with “style guru’s”. I also posted a picture of me with suncream on my head to show that I could look super awesome, and the “style guru” looked like an idiot. Should you want a mental refresh, or wish to live the hilarity (??) again, it was HERE. [...]
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