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Playing with the email scammers…part 2. This time it’s personal.

April 5th, 2009 · 8 Comments

Well, after the fun of THIS post with the lovely sounding Sali, who wanted to share her millions of dollars with me but decided not to reply to my last email, I was less than impressed.  I mean, did the bloke running the scam work out I might be taking the pee when I emailed with:

Oh Sali. Your story warns my cockles like a moist match and a windy summers day.

Please. Tell me. Would it be too soon to talk marriage and dressing up in each others clothes? Infact, would it be too soon to ask you to send me an email telling me what you want to do in the bedroom…and I don’t mean that naughty sex thing, I mean can we talk colour schemes. 

I so look forward to talking to you again soon and we can talk monkey.  Just kidding.  I meant money.  Oh Sali, I am sooooo funny.
Until then, I am off to stare at your picture while I smear myself in honey and call your name out loudly for all to hear.

All my love forever my sexy beauty.  (oh, and you better not have a penis…I am soooo hot for you)

Nope, no reply at all.  Yeah I know…what a cow!  Oh well.  But that’s OK, because Maher Labib emailed me with a great deal about sharing a $30M fortune that is just sitting in an old bank account…as long as I supply all my bank details…and then send them money first.  I am so lucky.

Except that the person it belonged to was a bible translator…and I don’t like religion.  Well, not so much don’t like, more just don’t really care.  But in this case, I decided I should mention to them that I worship the devil for a giggle.  My reply:

For mentioning the bible in my temple of death, I hereby summon 200 Thokolosh to find you in your sleep in the next 60 days and bring your soul to hell for all eternity.

Because you know…why not.   He wasn’t happy.  Infact he shouted.  He also used more exclamation points then I do…and that is saying something.  His reply?  Well..

BE CONSUMED BY THE FIRE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT,YOU ANTI-CHRIST.FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
THE HOLY BIBLE IS LIFE AND WITH ORDERSITY OF FAITH,BE WHOLY ENGULFED BY THE THUNDEROUS FORCES OF THE DARK PART OF THIS LIFE,FIRE!!!!!!!
Yeah sure.  OK.  What is the “FIRE!!!!!!!!” bit about?  Was he typing and clay pigeon shooting at the same time?  A clever man indeed.  But I obviously upset him, and I know that to millions of people religion is an important part of life.  So being the nice person I am, I apologised the best I could with:
The forces of darkness come for you tonight heathen. Look under the bed
tonight…they come for your soul.

For every person you continue to try and scam money from with your christ
loving heathen bullshit will make every bone surrounding your soul crumble
more and more. Remember…tonight at midnight…they come.

He didn’t reply, which I think is very rude considering I apologised.  Maybe he will reply back tomorrow.  You know, if he is still alive and the Thokolosh doesn’t come for him.
Either way, I feel naughty.  I shouldn’t be rude to people trying to steal other people’s money.  I am no better.  Oh, sorry…yes I am.
(Go HERE to find out what a Thokolosh is.  You know, if that’s what you do.  Hell, Google it if you want!  It’s your time afterall.)

© 2009, Sy. All rights reserved.

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8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Flying Saucer JonesNo Gravatar // Apr 5, 2009 at 3:49 am

    Question for Maher Labib: what on earth is ordersity? Sy, it looks like he saw your Thokolosh and raised you an ordersity. Bloody cheek, really, after you apologized and all.

    Flying Saucer Jones’s last blog post..Everything You Added Was Wrong

  • 2 Mrs TNo Gravatar // Apr 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    O my goodness, side splitting funny….. I only wish I’d thought of it.

    I just don’t know why Sali didn’t get back to you… the thought of discussing colour schemes with you is undeniably attractive. Who wants to be smeared in honey when you can talk Apple White and Hint of Peach??

    Mrs T’s last blog post..Interview with Paul Brown

  • 3 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 6, 2009 at 12:42 am

    @Flying Saucer Jones – I figured that ordersity is the ammo used in clay pigeon shooting, so he sayd “ordersity…FIRE!”. I dunno, I dont think he has a sense of humour…which is weird for an email scammer trying to prey on vunerable people!

    @Mrs T – Sali just thought she was too important. Screw her…see if I care! It’s great…there are so many people who play with these scammers, but I only do it as I use the account that I put on the net so they can spam away! No problem to me. And I also might get good decorating tips from them!

  • 4 TameraNo Gravatar // Apr 6, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    Are you joking? you really did correspond with that spammer? hilarious.

    fire? ehh. I’m still looking up ordersity. I think you scared him, sy. He probably had to sleep with his nightlight on..heh.

    Tamera’s last blog post..Michelle Obama is Jackie Kennedy? Or, Michelle?

  • 5 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 6, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Oh no, it is 100% legit. Because it is my spam catching account, they can spam away because I responded…and they are so much fun to wind up. Google emailing scammers…it’s a popular internet hobby.

  • 6 Phil T McNastyNo Gravatar // Apr 6, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    This entry was like Bible study, only better!

    Phil T McNasty’s last blog post..A cheerful personal walking tour of terrorism-scarred buildings

  • 7 SyNo Gravatar // Apr 7, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    In my unwanted opinion, sticking onions in my eyes is better than bible study!!

  • 8 TwistedNo Gravatar // Apr 8, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    I cried. Hilarious stuff Sy. Pity April Fools’ is gone. I am definitely trying this for my birthday

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