There are some jobs I will never do. Elephant Condom Putter on’er is one example. Another is be a bodyguard for any of the British Royal Family (coz I wouldn’t want to waste my blood) and yet another is a “Stlye Guru”. Hell, I don’t even want to do IT like I do now. I only do it because it is one of the two things I am good at in life (answers in the comments section if you think you know what the other is), and because the internet connection at work would get bored if I was not there.
I will never understand “Style Guru’s”. Who decides that they are a “guru”? Probably no one. Or some blind dude once said to them “My golly. You look splendid today!”. And they took him seriously and didn’t realise he was blind and talking to a sparrow he heard fly past.
Gok Wang. Stupid Name, Stupid Idiot.
Sy. Better Glasses, Shaved Head, Great Guy.
My style is the “I am married. As long as my wife likes me, that is all that is important to me” style. The one where I don’t spend a fortune on Man Makeup, hair gel and a pair of glasses which probably just have plain glass in them but it is all about accentuating their best feature. Which is not looking at the rest of their face. I do not need (nor ever wish to try) the Back, Crack and Sack wax and I see more people dressed like me then I do the self proclaimed guru’s on TV, in magazines and anywhere else that they infest the earth.
I should be on TV. And I mean shows other then the ones I have been on such as “UK’s Worst Crimes” or “Police! Camera! Action!” where you can see some of my mad driving skills while throwing Class A drugs out of the window. But as a “Stlye Guru” I could walk up to strangers and say “Hey. Nice coat! Did you get it from your standard run of the mill high street chain per chance?” and then give them £200 for being normal. Show over. Move on to better things in life.
OK, so I do agree that some people could dress better(as could I on occassion!). But they are comfortable. And they have been for years. So why do they now want to go on TV in front of the people who watch the show who just have nothing in the world better to do and plan their life around this show and stand there naked while some women rip up their clothes. What do they do next?? Go home naked as their clothes are now in tatters?? How does that part work?! If it is not bad enough the nation is looking at your jiggly’s, now you get done for indecent exposure as they destroyed your clothes!
What bothers me more is that I know about these shows through hearing conversation. Because I am a listener. I have never even seen this crap yet I can write a post about it because people have spent too much time talking about it.
Today I am wearing a pair of jeans. Blue jeans at that. Black socks with no holes (apart from the huge ones at the top which I stick my feet in to. A black T-Shirt that has a logo on the front which reads “No Pads, No Helmets, Just Balls.” This is of course a rugby slogan. Not my coming out parade.
So that is Jeans and a Tee then. Should I go in front of a guru? Will I come out of it the other side wearing a dress and holding a manbag? You are never gonna find out!
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